Crematoria

[Yellow Fang]

Sorry to push this on you. My father died on Sunday, which is the 5th May, right. Apparently, he cannot be cremated until 24th May, which by my reckoning is nineteen days. Well, speaking to my step-mother, there was a 4:30pm slot on a previous day, but she wants to give people time to drive down and back. The problem I have is that it's his aunt's 90th birthday party two days afterwards. So my dad is buried on Friday and the party's on Sunday. Why does it take so long to get someone cremated in this country? Does anyone know what can be done about it?

 

[Sara_H]

Sorry for your loss.

That does seem a very long time. Are there any other crematoria locally, in the next town etc who may be ably to provide the service sooner? It may be that the funeral director has only approached one crematoria for some reason.

 

[Globalti]

Sorry about your Dad.

Have you tried ringing the appropriate office at the council and explaining your problem? Most council workers will try to help.

 

[accountantpete]

It may be an "old-fashioned" Crematorium that just caters for one funeral at a time coupled with a large catchment area.

I went to one in Bolton and it was very "time is money" - you went in one side and came out the other side 20 minutes later with another simultaneous funeral on the go in the adjacent chapel.

I'd rather wait and do it properly.

 

[Yellow Fang]

I don't understand. Do all local funeral directors have to use the same crematorium? Can't the cremation be held in one place and burial in another?

 

[vernon]

It depends on the catchment area of the crematorium and the local death rates. There tends to be greater choice of burial grounds than crematoria and several burials can take place simultaneously at a graveyard. My parents were dead and buried within a week.

Several of my colleagues have had parents die and two to three weeks between death and cremation seems to be the going rate.

 

[marinyork]

We had this recently with what accountantpete said when my grandfather died a couple of months ago with the 2-3 week wait to 'do it properly'. Very much what he said.

 

[Yellow Fang]

Is it possible to have a two-part funeral? Have the cremation in an earlier time-slot followed by a service and interment on another day?

 

[green1]

Is it possible to have a two-part funeral? Have the cremation in an earlier time-slot followed by a service and interment on another day?

Yes. I know someone who partners ashes are on cabinet and will be until they die and then both their ashes will be scattered together.

I've been told where my mum ashes have to be scattered.

 

[Yellow Fang]

Part of the problem is my step-mother, with the assistance of my brother has been organising things. I am not even sure who the funeral directors are. My step-mother's priorities are slightly different to mine, and obviously her wishes are paramount second to dad's own. Also, I have had a row with her twice about it and cannot discuss it coolly.

It seems it's been a cruel winter and the stiffs have been piling up more than usual. Also the services have been extended in some places from 30 mins to 45 mins, resulting in fewer time-slots. The real problem is that there are not enough crematoria.

 

[addictfreak]

Is it possible to have a two-part funeral? Have the cremation in an earlier time-slot followed by a service and interment on another day?

I have done some work for a funeral directors in the past. I have never known a cremation and burial or scattering of ashes to taken place on the same day. Usually in my experience, you either have a church service then travel to the crematorium for the committal or the service is held at the crematorium with the committal at the the end of the service.
The cremation process is not instantaneous, therefore you would have to wait sometime while the deceased is actually cremated, the ashes allowed to cool etc then have the burial or scattering. As I say I have worked on a great number of funerals and have never seen this in one day. In my experience a scattering or burial of ashes would generally take place a day or so after the cremation.
As for using a different crematorium, this is possible but if it outside the area where the deceased lived then the charges can be significant. Having to wait as long is not uncommon down south, usually up here it would all over within a week.
As I say these are my personal experiences which relate to this area.

 

[Globalti]

Surprising fact: My FIL was a funeral director and in a store room at his office there were a couple of dozen urns of ashes of people whose relatives hadn't got round to collecting them, years later. So don't delay too long.

 

[vernon]

Surprising fact: My FIL was a funeral director and in a store room at his office there were a couple of dozen urns of ashes of people whose relatives hadn't got round to collecting them, years later. So don't delay too long.

There was something in the news last week about a funeral director who had a large number of urns of unclaimed ashes some going back to the 1950's.

 

[Yellow Fang]

It looks like my brother and step-mother lied to me. I emailed the council in charge of the crematorium and they said there were numerous midday slots available on six previous days. I emailed the National Association of Funeral Directors too. They said the average time between death and cremation was 7-10 days. I think the reason my step-mother chose that slot was so a friend of hers could take the service. I am seething with anger.

 

[MarkF]

It looks like my brother and step-mother lied to me. I emailed the council in charge of the crematorium and they said there were numerous midday slots available on six previous days. I emailed the National Association of Funeral Directors too. They said the average time between death and cremation was 7-10 days. I think the reason my step-mother chose that slot was so a friend of hers could take the service. I am seething with anger.

I found the waiting, 10 days, far harder to deal with than my father's death, if it had been up to me he'd have been cremated asap.

Good luck, hope that you can hurry things along and that your relationship with your step-mother recovers.