Dogs are more naughty than children

[Bill Gates]

Any stories on what mischief your dogs have got up to?

In the last 5 minutes I've discovered that my dogs have snitched half a packet of lard off the kitchen table and eaten it; and in the garden I've found the remnants of the loo roll taken from the toilet. I think that later on there may well be a loose connection between the two.

 

[NormanD]

 Many moons ago when my two sons were children, we had a doberman called Oscar, the best pet you could ever wish for, except he had one weakness ... "Chocolate" ... you could sit and eat any meal and he wouldn't be anywhere near you, sit with some chocolate though and he'd be right by your side.

Well you know what kids are like. give them some sweets and they feed them to the dog, that's what kids do and oscar knew this, he would never steal the sweets from them, unless they were given to him.

Well on the eve of Easter day we'd been invited to my sisters for a kids party, so kids, myself and the wife in the car and oscar locked in the kitchen, we'd only be gone a few hours anyways.

Few hours later we arrived home to find the door leading to the living room from the kitchen was open! laying around was loads of shredded brightly coloured cardboard and the odd bit of silver foil   

Yes Oscar had found the kids stash of easter eggs .. not one ...not two, but all sixteen of them (8 each from family and friends) the place looked like an easter egg slaughter house, he's made his way through every single egg   

Well he never moved for the first few hours ... began to look bloated for the next few ... had a sugar high for the next few (this included running around with the talcum powder container and covering the living room and kitchen and every one else in a fine coating of talc   )

He never moved a muscle on easter day, except feeling totally sorry for himself, even when the kids offered him some chocolate from their new easter eggs he didn't flinch   

He went off chocolate after that   

A long missed valued family member and never forgotten   

 

[Cush]

Yes dogs are just like Bairns, we have two deaf and dumb German Spitz, that is untill a packet of crisps is opened and then suddenly there is the dog Mafia at your feet with that pathetic "we are never fed" look on their faces and when we are in the caravan, the same two that would neve dream of getting out of their baskets before 07:00 at home are prodding guess who at 04:00 desperate to get out even or more so when it is pouring down but notice it is never "She who must be obeyed" who gets prodded. SWMBO's answer to that is that they know who gets their dinner ready for them.

 

[ChrisBD]

Hell yeh, loads.

For a starter, on one occasion our b/w ESS dog was found under the kitchen table with a frozen block of mince, licking it like an icelolly.....stolen from the worktop where it was defrosting!

On another occasion we had friends over and were eating tempurra veg; my wife returned to the kitchen to make a second batch only to find the batter bowl emplty. Further investigation revealed dry white paw prints on the black granite tops. Our aged decrepid terrier who was asleep in the corner was found to have all four paws caked in dry batter mix and his beard likewise!!!

 

[PaulB]

Thing is, you probably can't kill a kid but naughty dogs are fair game. Isn't it?

 

[Chamfus Flange]

Christmas 1989, Mum completes serving the main meal leaving the kitchen to inform Dad and I that "it's ready!". On her return finds three empty plates and a rather full Jack Russel, Pippa, looking like a beach ball with fingers.

 

[Wigsie]

Molly my beagle is the naughtiest thing in the world.... There are too many things to list, but the key points of the last 10 years are, most of the below happened at other peoples houses (usually my parents):

Destroyed my mums handbag and eaten 3 £10 notes on seperate occassions
Eaten an 8lb gammon joint for boxing day Chrismas 2005
Eaten the top tier of my brothers wedding cake (they were saving for christening of first born child)
Chewed approximately 8 golf gloves
Destroyed around 5 golf bags to get to the golf gloves
Chewed the legs and stool to my grandfathers 150 year old Pianola my father just spent £4,000 having refurbished
Smashed 10 plates and 8 glasses in one rampage after a dinner in the persuit of crumbs on both the table and kitchen side
Eaten 24 Weetabix in one sitting (dry)
A Jay Cloth (which she half poo'd out on a walk in the woods and spend the next hour running around with a jay cloth sticking out her bum)
Destroyed around 20 pairs of shoes
Jumped a 5 foot fence to chase a fox and getting hit by a car at 50mph... costing me £1,500 in vets bills
Smashed collars and chewed plaster casts and stitches from above accident to a further cost of £150... Twice!!
Eaten whole baby rabbits and thrown them up on the kitchen floor

Having said that... I love her!

 

[ColinJ]

Many moons ago when my two sons were children, we had a doberman called Oscar, the best pet you could ever wish for, except he had one weakness ... "Chocolate" ... you could sit and eat any meal and he wouldn't be anywhere near you, sit with some chocolate though and he'd be right by your side.

Well you know what kids are like. give them some sweets and they feed them to the dog, that's what kids do and oscar knew this, he would never steal the sweets from them, unless they were given to him.

Well on the eve of Easter day we'd been invited to my sisters for a kids party, so kids, myself and the wife in the car and oscar locked in the kitchen, we'd only be gone a few hours anyways.

Few hours later we arrived home to find the door leading to the living room from the kitchen was open! laying around was loads of shredded brightly coloured cardboard and the odd bit of silver foil   

Yes Oscar had found the kids stash of easter eggs .. not one ...not two, but all sixteen of them (8 each from family and friends) the place looked like an easter egg slaughter house, he's made his way through every single egg   

Well he never moved for the first few hours ... began to look bloated for the next few ... had a sugar high for the next few (this included running around with the talcum powder container and covering the living room and kitchen and every one else in a fine coating of talc   )

He never moved a muscle on easter day, except feeling totally sorry for himself, even when the kids offered him some chocolate from their new easter eggs he didn't flinch   

He went off chocolate after that   

He was lucky to survive that! (Chocolate is poisonous to dogs)

 

[taxing]

One of our old dogs was dead naughty, on the first night we got him we put him to bed in the kitchen and he absolutely wrecked the place. He was a rescue dog so my parents let him off for that, but my mum wasn't too pleased when he pinched a whole cooked chicken off the worktop the next day. He could jump 8 feet high so he was constantly escaping, and once while on one of his jaunts he killed a pet rabbit in someone's garden... in front of their kids. We once took him for a walk in the countryside and let him off his lead, then he saw a rabbit and bolted. We waited and shouted of him for hours but he didn't come back so we went home, thinking we'd lost him forever. Then, hoping for a bit of luck, we went back the next day. There he was, sitting where we'd been parked the day before. We bought him an ice cream on the way home because he looked thirsty. He used to fight other dogs all the time as well. That's how he died actually, the other dog broke his back and he had to be put down. Very sad. He was a right sod but full of character. My mum tried twice to give him away, both times just after us kids had gone to school, and both times he was back at home by 3.30. We'd never have known what had happened if he hadn't been licking his wounds, one of the times he jumped through a closed window to escape so he had glass in his paw and the other he came back covered in scratches. He had an amazing sense of direction, my mum took him both times in the car so that he wouldn't be able to find his way back but he did. She gave up on trying to get rid of him after the second time.

 

[Bill Gates]

Yes dogs are just like Bairns, we have two deaf and dumb German Spitz, that is untill a packet of crisps is opened and then suddenly there is the dog Mafia at your feet with that pathetic "we are never fed" look on their faces and when we are in the caravan, the same two that would neve dream of getting out of their baskets before 07:00 at home are prodding guess who at 04:00 desperate to get out even or more so when it is pouring down but notice it is never "She who must be obeyed" who gets prodded. SWMBO's answer to that is that they know who gets their dinner ready for them.

My dogs love crisps. I don't give them any but when taking them for a walk they will get stuck into any discarded crisp packets. One particularly large packet actually got stuck over the head of one of them so that he couldn't see where he was going. Very funny seeing him with a crisp packet over his head like that. He was quite relieved when I took it off.

 

[Cush]

Taxing mentions a stange thing that was also very noticable in one of old dogs, the homing instinct. We could be away for two or three weeks and travel hundreds of miles towing the caravan, the Bandito would sit quietly on the back seat or floor the whole time but the moment we turned for home he knew and was up barking and running over the back seat for the last five or more miles(but he never tried to get in to the front)