Embarrassing moments

[screenman]

Turning up for a ride naked ride, 7 days on the run.

 

[snorri]

Why is this in commuting?

'Cos there's not a Garbage section?

 

[Donger]

OK. I'm not proud. I'll get this one back on track then. In my first ever audax I was repeatedly overtaken by a little old lady in a long skirt, riding an old-fashioned sit-up-and- beg bike with a wicker basket on the front. Every time I hit a steep hill, I could hear her coming, because she even had enough breath left to sing a little song to herself as she climbed. Whenever I got to the top of a hill I hurtled past her downhill like a meteorite and left her in my trail ... only to see the next hill approaching, with the inevitability of hearing her approach, singing la-di-da, tra la la etc all over again. It was my first time over 60 miles, and I was gasping like a fish at least 20 miles before the end. She looked like she was just nipping to the church fete. Every blasted hill I hit, she reeled me in again like a mullet. Eventually, I caught a good look at her at one of the rest breaks ... gnarled, muscular legs, proper cycling kit beneath her skirt, not as old as she was dressed - totally sporty type and about a third of my weight. She must have had a right laugh conning and picking off unsuspecting newbies on her way round. I now take no account of age or gender when sizing up my fellow riders. We are all just cyclists. We probably all suffer on the hills - you have to, to earn muscles like that. It's just that some can hide it better than others.

 

[Colin B]

I got the tip of my penis caught in my zip at an Irish wake once .

 

[captain nemo1701]

I have definitely been a victim of number 2.....ashamedly.

Also I do like singing out loud and tell barking dogs in garden to shut the eff up and then their owns peer around the corner and I cycle just a bit faster.

I have also fallen victim to the I-am-alone-loud-fart only to find that someone else has quietly wandered over near to you within earshot. Even more embarassing is if it's a right eye-watering paint-stripper. I just try to brazen it out with 'I'm full of beans today' etc. However, cycling bib tights with pad help muffle the noise.

You can guarantee that if I'm busting for a pee out riding, I'll find a quiet bush miles out of the way, out of sight to anyone, unzip the bib tights and start only to find that by some wierd freak synchronicity, a feckin' dog walker will materialise from nowhere mere yards away. How do they do it???.

 

[Lavender Rose]

I have also fallen victim to the I-am-alone-loud-fart only to find that someone else has quietly wandered over near to you within earshot. Even more embarassing is if it's a right eye-watering paint-stripper. I just try to brazen it out with 'I'm full of beans today' etc. However, cycling bib tights with pad help muffle the noise.

You can guarantee that if I'm busting for a pee out riding, I'll find a quiet bush miles out of the way, out of sight to anyone, unzip the bib tights and start only to find that by some wierd freak synchronicity, a feckin' dog walker will materialise from nowhere mere yards away. How do they do it???.

Its easy for men!!!! *tuts* I just have to wait to find a pub with a landlord I can chat up for a go in the loo

 

[captain nemo1701]

Its easy for men!!!! *tuts* I just have to wait to find a pub with a landlord I can chat up for a go in the loo

Yes, but as Colin B points out, having a willy can be risky

 

[Lavender Rose]

Haha!! Oh this is good....example please?