Encouraged to join Strava.But now a problem.

[postman]

Last week i got an e mail from one of my longest standing cycling buddies.Did i fancy joining Strava.Well after looking at it i said yes.So now on the mobile i have said App.
But here comes a problem,my mate says it's good and it pushes you to improve your cycling.Well that is a good thing,but.
I have not ridden with my two other mates for over twelve months because my cycling buddy is 70+,and over the last twelve months he has dropped off big time,i am 64 in Feb.I am finding that i am stopping more and more to wait for him to catch up,so in my eyes i am cycling like a 70 year old.
Stopping and starting is beginning to wind me up.the ride to Scarborough last year was a disaster,the number of times i got off the bike and sat and waited was stupid.Well last week it started again 8 times over 27 miles i stopped and waited for him.
So now i have a problem,i want to cycle with my old mates more,to improve my speed and distances and visit new places,but my mate will not be able to keep up with us,what do i do cut down the number of times per week i ride with him,he is beginning to hold me back.Advice sought please you CycleChatters.I am trying to be kind to him.

Ps, last year i stopped a number of rides short of our destinations,giving excuses because i did not want to tell him he was slow.Places like Embasy Steam Railway,stopping at Bolton Abbey or Burnsall stopping at Cavendish Pavillion.

 

[rich p]

Push him off a high bridge next time you're out.

 

[nickyboy]

If you were the 70+ year old what would you want the 64 year old to do? Do that

 

[coffeejo]

Talk to him about it and ask yourself how you would feel if the positions were reversed. In ten years time when you look back, what memories will you cherish more? The times you spent with your friend - or getting on the Strava leaderboard?

Sounds to me like a compromise is required. If his fitness is in decline, maybe the longer distances aren't a good idea for him but there's no reason why you can't do shorter rides with him to enjoy his company and go out on a different day with your fitter mates to push yourself.

 

[Bollo]

Oooooh, a modern manners question if ever there was one!

I had a few health problems about 2 years ago, and it meant that I was struggling to keep up with my usual ride chum. I felt terrible, because as well as just feeling terrible, I could remember a time when I tore his legs off for fun and I was very aware that it was probably spoiling his ride. So, I'd be surprised if your friend isn't aware of the situation.

Coffeejo has it sussed - pick a goal for the ride. If it's fitness or Stravaing, go out on your own or ride with someone who can keep up. If you want to maintain your friendship, cycle slower, talk the usual **** that gets talked on a social ride and enjoy his company, rather than riding off and getting in a huff. I'm sure he'll appreciate that more and understand the times when he doesn't get an invite.

 

[Peteaud]

I have deleted my Strava a/c and just log my rides and pics to RWGPS now as mostly i go out for fun and fitness, not races

As Above, strava times or friendship?

Time and place for both imho.

 

[JoeyB]

I don't see where Strava fits into this equation?

If it were me I would reduce the number of rides I did with the slower rider and when I did go out with that buddy I would just treat it as a social jolly and not a serious session. I think if you can get the mindset right before the ride then perhaps you won't get so frustrated when out on the ride?

I have a similar situation with football. I have a couple of arrangements each week (used to be more). One is super competitive and a good level, the second one is not so.... I've learnt to treat the second arrangement as a bit of fun, I save the big effort for the more competitive arrangement. This prevents me from getting frustrated during the game! Does that make any sense at all? lol

 

[ScotiaLass]

I agree that you should spend time with your friend but limit the rides with him and make them more of a social outing, rather than a fitness/time thing.
I am sure he won't mind if you explain.

 

[postman]

I knew you lot would offer the solution,i can have the best of both worlds,i had the idea of riding with both sets of mates,like stated on different days.I will take my mate out for coffee and explain my idea,thank you all.I was hoping one of you might have gone through something similar.That is why i sought your advice.

 

[rich p]

Most people I ride with are inferior to me in many, many ways but I tolerate their ignorance, slowness and downright ugliness because it boosts my self-esteem even better than going to Asda.

 

[Blue]

Have you ever thought that he may be dropping off the back because he wants you to disappear up the road and keep going? It could be him who has something to say to you!!

 

[HorTs]

You're 64, it's time to accept that you shouldn't be outside anymore. Get yourself a nice arm chair and allow the decay to set in.

I have a similar problem with my friends, one group cycle slowly, and one group cycle fast. I just adjust my gear usage to suit the group. I don't mind going slow, infact I probably prefer it.

 

[MrGrumpy]

Thats about the size of it, if you want to go out for a fast ride and none of your cycling buddies can keep that pace then go out seperatly and treat the group rides as more social chat thing. I very occasionally go out for a ride with the guys round my way, but the speed can vary depending who is out, one lad is incredibly slow to the point that there is alot of standing around waiting even down hill! When its the faster guys the pace is better but that is what suits.

 

[postman]

You're 64, it's time to accept that you shouldn't be outside anymore. Get yourself a nice arm chair and allow the decay to set in.

Think i'll watch Sky Sports then.I can then watch Portsmouth slide into the Conference

 

[vernon]

Advice sought please you CycleChatters.I am trying to be kind to him.

Ps, last year i stopped a number of rides short of our destinations,giving excuses because i did not want to tell him he was slow.Places like Embasy Steam Railway,stopping at Bolton Abbey or Burnsall stopping at Cavendish Pavillion.

You are Francois Hollonde, you can't fool me.

You are tired of the loyal older model and you want to abandon her for a racier model for the testosterone boost the you hope will cure your erectile dysfuntion and boost your rankings in the 'babe magnet' league albeit the 'Heckmondwike occasional ride' league and not the 'cat 1 three times a morning' league.

Image isn't everything and repaying loyalty with not so clandestine dalliances as you have found, leads to self deception, mockery and delusions of adequacy.

Forget what actions others advise you to take other than consider what your companionship and friendship mean to your older model and ask yourself are the delusory gains of a flashier model really worth having?