Funeral for a friend.....

[andytheflyer]

A very good 40-something civil engineer friend and colleague has just died after a long illness. He leaves a wife and 2 teenagers - whom I've never met. He and I worked together for several years, in the UK and abroad. He was, and was known by many, to be a keen cyclist, regularly riding the Taff Trail to and from his office in Cardiff. We'd regularly talk cycling, what we'd done recently, and plans for future rides.

When his illness advanced he bought an electric-assist MTB and continued to do as much as he could.

I'm going to his funeral - but what to wear? I thought of the usual suit and tie, but it occurred to me that I could wear a cycle jersey over the shirt and tie. I have one of these:

http://www.thecyclejersey.com/cycle...othy-taylor-championship-beers-cycling-jersey

He would definitely have seen the joke and fully approved - but will anyone else? Am I going to look like a disrespectful idiot?

What to do? Given that we are all cycling enthusiasts here no doubt you'd all say go for it - but take a moment, would you do it? Am I going to upset someone?

Dunno. Thoughts appreciated. RIP JC.

 

[BrumJim]

Can you contact his wife? Whilst you are celebrating / mourning his life, I think it is very important to consider the views of his close family too.

 

[derrick]

I would say no, Seeing as you have never met any other family members.

 

[martint235]

Why not check with his widow beforehand? She's best placed to offer an opinion and it may be "Yes he would have loved that and who gives a stuff what anyone else thinks"

 

[ianrauk]

I would see the advice of his family first.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Just wear what you want to wear - you like it, he would have liked it, it's not a problem.

 

[nickyboy]

I would see the advice of his family first.

I wouldn't, seeing as the OP has never met any of them. It would put them in a difficult position.

I wouldn't wear something like that. Fine, if you, he and others were members of some club and the family knew all about it and it was an important part of his life. Then you and others wear the club gear. But otherwise, no

 

[andytheflyer]

MODS - this seems to have created 2 threads? Perhaps you can merge and remove one? Thx.

 

[Dave 123]

Wear it under your shirt, that will be ok.

 

[Scoosh]

MODS - this seems to have created 2 threads? Perhaps you can merge and remove one? Thx.

Some posts Moved from the other thread and it's been Deleted.

 

[Pale Rider]

Funerals are increasingly seen as informal and a celebration of the life of the dead person.

But that tone is usually set by the family.

In the absence of any such information, sombre clothing and a dark or black tie would be best.

After all, what are you trying to prove?

Your presence is the only important thing.

Making a bold statement to a group of people you have never met, at a sensitive time for them, could be badly misinterpreted.

 

[jonny jeez]

Funerals are increasingly seen as informal and a celebration of the life of the dead person.

But that tone is usually set by the family.

In the absence of any such information, sombre clothing and a dark or black tie would be best.

After all, what are you trying to prove?

Your presence is the only important thing.

Making a bold statement to a group of people you have never met, at a sensitive time for them, could be badly misinterpreted.

This...plus, worse still you could be interpreted as trying to attract attention to yourself. That's not why you are there.

Without input or knowledge from the family, stick to tradition.

Why not create a wreath from a cycle jersey or artifact.

J

 

[Pale Rider]

This...plus, worse still you could be interpreted as trying to attract attention to yourself. That's not why you are there.

Without input or knowledge from the family, stick to tradition.

Why not create a wreath from a cycle jersey or artifact.

J

I agree being seen as attention seeking is a big risk - rather like trying to outshine the bride at a wedding.

The centre of attention for a funeral should be the dead person.

Nothing to stop the OP making kind and even jovial remarks about the deceased, particularly if the tone of the proceedings is heading that way.

The time for that will most likely be at the wake.

 

[numbnuts]

I don't have a suit as I mainly wear a Kilt with all the trimmings so I always ask well before hand if it's OK as you don't want to upstage the funeral or stand out like a prat.

 

[rich p]

as I manly wear a Kilt

Ooh, err. Macho man!