Funeral of many surprises coming up!

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PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
My wife's father died earlier this week and the planning for the funeral has released many skeletons which will all have to come out of the cupboard on the big day.

Personally, I could not stand the auld bastard and what he did to my wife's family removes any right he had to the term, 'man'.

He threw his wife with four young children, one only three months old, out of his house in Chiswick and she had to take these four infants back north with no money, no food or nappies and only the clothes they stood up in. He was single-handedly re-populating a significant part of London and there will be some strangely familiar faces at the funeral next week.

One chap had no idea he had four step-siblings until this week, assuming he was an only child and another chap who believes he is AB's actual son and isn't, is going to receive a bit of a shock at the graveside.

The three-month old from all those years ago has taken a stand that he wants nothing to do with his actual father and will be the only familial absentee from the funeral. Grimsby, next Thursday. Entertainment assured.
 

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
Can you take a helmet cam? :thumbsup::smile:
 

pauldavid

Veteran
I'm not coming if we're all gonna be arguing, and if the old man was that prolific I might find out the wife's also my sister.


Actually, looking at her now we do have a siking similarity.










Thank you very much Paul, you might as well just got us all on the Jeremy Kyle Show!!!!!!!!!
 

Hotblack Desiato

Well-Known Member
There's something strangely appropriate about skeletons being released at a funeral. Where better?

Anyway, are we to bring our own refreshments?
 

stephec

Squire
Location
Bolton
Sounds like an episode of Emmerdale/Corrie/insert your favourite telly for simpletons show here.
 
OP
OP
PaulB

PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
Well it was only an inquisitive niece of ours who found the location of this guy through Facebook five years ago. Until then, the family didn't know of his whereabouts, his state of health or if he was dead or alive. His sisters were all ecstatic about renewing old acquaintances and friendships (they were particularly friendly with his wife as they were old schoolmates) but misery-guts gave fot a nuck. My wife and her sister reckon his acknowledged 'only' son was dumbstruck to discover he had a virtual twin brother (the aforementioned three month old) and there were at least seven others that we know of. He lived in Lancashire, London, East Anglia and eventually on Humberside.
 
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