Getting rid of unwanted visitors

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gary r

Guru
Location
Camberley
Its 1030pm,on a Monday and the mental next door neighbour is sitting comfortably on my sofa talking to Mrs R !!!! the last time she came round with her 2 kids aged 6 & 9 she didnt go home until 1am!!! i :sad:
 

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
I'd be straightforward and ask her to leave as you have to get your sleep in and it's bed time.
 

Night Train

Maker of Things
Go and flick the main electrical switch off and then exclaim that somthing has blown in there.
Then offer to all go to the neighbour's house for a coffee while waiting for an emergency sparky. I reckon that by 11pm the neighbour would have the answer as to how to get rid of a neighbour that has out stayed their welcome.
 

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
Go and flick the main electrical switch off and then exclaim that somthing has blown in there.
Then offer to all go to the neighbour's house for a coffee while waiting for an emergency sparky. I reckon that by 11pm the neighbour would have the answer as to how to get rid of a neighbour that has out stayed their welcome.

Not if she's gregarious and garrulous.
wacko.gif
 
This happend to me many many moons ago, they soon got the message, when came into the room winding my alarm clock up :whistle:
 

Sleeping Menace

New Member
Location
UK
There's a very simple cure for neighbours or relatives who don't know when to leave ... flatulence.

simply position yourself between a source of air flow.. a slightly open window...possibly a heater vent..or a fan.. and the offending party... and eek one out quietly...
Then watch as they struggle to maintain composure and keep trying to talk whilst basking in the glory of the aromatic bouquet from your vindaloo you had but 2 hours before..

Although this falls into the crude-but-effective category..I've never seen it fail once :smile:)

For added effect, you can follow the flatulence with some cute little saying.. .. something along the lines of 'There.. let's see the missus get THAT one out in a cold-water wash'.. or..'whoo baby, that one put on its' boots to come out and play'.. Very often if the actual flatulent event hasn't sent them on their way, the mental image you're imprinting in their little minds with the cute saying will.


Good luck... and remember the vindaloo.....

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gary r

Guru
Location
Camberley
she finally left about midnight,i abandoned the wife(its her mate she can talk to her!) and went to bed about 11pm.she doesnt seem to take a hint !!
 

tyred

Squire
Location
Ireland
I remember a friend of my dad;s telling me about when he was a teenager, a neighbour used to visit them every Friday night and stay for hours. His father couldn't stand the man anyway and was always wondering how to get rid, so Sammy went out and slackened the quill bolt on the man's bike so when he tried to cycle home, the handlebars were loose and he fell. He never came back after that.
 
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