grief

[yenrod]

How does one deal with it.

Last night effectively I dealt with THE worst night of my life EVER !

A close family member passed over to a better place bless.

Today's been efffectively 50/50...

Sometimes I think.... and i just

I'm just glad its sunny as i can wear my sunglasses and hide behind them.

This is not easy at all and the memories are...

I dont know what the future is gonna be like but not having this person around will/is [be] like not having half my body.

I dont know what to do.

Ive been brave doing this

 

[dan_bo]

One takes as long as one needs over it for a start eel. One day you'll be able to remember the good times without pain.

 

[Bman]

Wow! What a first post! I dont know what to say!

The closest person I've lost in my life is my Grandad. I took great pride in being his pallbearer. That was years ago and I still miss him.

Death is never an easy one. But life goes on. It has to.

Im not the best person to offer advice on grieving. But I'm sure some of the other more experianced CC'ers will be along shortly........

 

[betty swollocks]

So sorry for your loss eel.
What you do is go to bed at night and get up the next morning. And repeat.
Seek solace in the company of friends and family and eventually it won't feel quite so raw.
Take care.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Hey Eel ...you are amoungst people on here who care even though it's a first post...hang on in there & keep talking on here if you want to...pm me if you need to...i'm going through something similar but not as bad....you need friends around you now....it's tough..really tough but one day the sun will shine again, for now though just let it all out.

 

[got-to-get-fit]

my wife lost her dad 4 week ago .....were all still getting over the shock.

Its just each day as it comes basicaly. Once all the funeral and arrangements are over i feel the best thing you can do is gat back into your old routine. Do the things you normally do, got to the places you normally go.

Every day the heartache will be a little easier to bear, Until you get to a point where you remember that person and laugh ...not cry.

It will take time and the love of your family to get over it. But as sure as night folllows day, people find a way through the most tragic of circumstances.


oh .....and errrr welcome to the forum.
You have certainly made an impact with your first post but im sure you will find lots of good souls on here.

 

[Globalti]

There will always be a gap in your life that nobody can fill but as someone wrote above, the pain diminishes with time. In the meantime do your best to remember the good times and honour the person you lost. What are you doing by way of memorials? (Not just of the graveyard variety)

 

[sw3008]

Deepest sympathy to you.

My wife's dad died over 10 years ago - a lifetime smoker taken by cancer - and we still miss him deeply.

Best thing to do is remember the good times & if poss laugh at them.

It will get better, time is the greatest healer that there is.

The best thing is to let the emotion out. Have a good winge & talk it through with other family members.

 

[Arch]

So sorry for your loss eel.
What you do is go to bed at night and get up the next morning. And repeat.
Seek solace in the company of friends and family and eventually it won't feel quite so raw.
Take care.

This pretty well sums it up for me.

You won't get necessarily 'get over it', but you'll come to terms with coping with it. If you're at all involved in the organisation of the funeral, that will keep you as busy as you want it to. Be prepared for after that to be worse, when you've nothing to do.

There's no one right way to cope - we all of us react differently. Do what seems right to you, without upsetting others. Although, if you need space from other people, don't be afraid to say so, just don't let become too much of a habit, being alone.

 

[gbb]

Dont be afraid to talk to family if you can eel...
Lost my brother last year, and we were determined not to let ourselves not talk about him, even when it hurt horrendously. Your family or friends can become even closer at times like these..if you allow it to happen. You can just as easily push people away...and thats a bad thing.

Try to talk about the funny times and good times...You cry sometimes (often at first) when you do it, but we found it brought us, or kept us closer together.

Time does heal...a year on i still get a melancholy come over me occasionally, and still cant believe he's gone. Sometimes i can hear him in my mind and see him come through the door....but it doesnt hurt so much.

Lump in throat...time to move on for me. You've just got to get through it eel, there's no easy answer.

 

[Scoosh]

eel, and, as already been said, a brave first/second post - but in the right place

I lost my Father when I was early 20's and my Mother a couple of years ago. When my Father died, I was fortunate enough to have a friend who said to me:"Tell me about him". I poured it out, all the stuff, all the stories; I , I , I and went on for about 2 hours, IIRC. I don't know if he listened but it really helped me. Never fear talking about your departed loved one. It will hurt to start with but it gets better.

You will have 'moments', when something (and it can be the strangest things) will bring a rememberance and a but they become less frequent over time - as has been clearly stated, 'cos it's true

I have been amazed at the positive help, geniune concern and all round 'warm fuzzies' which people on CC extend to complete strangers who all share a love of cycling. This is a good place to which to return and let us know how you are doing.