Homework Battles ?

[Fnaar]

Don't know what the answer is, really, but a lot of it is (according to me) simply down to how you are wired. My elder bro... not thick, but never tried at school... left with minimum quallies. Sister, the same. Me, I loved getting into a bit of reading and studying, still do. Had nothing different going on than the others, I was just ready to apply myself to it a bit more. I can notice similar things going on with my own kids, two just get on with it, one can't seem to get down to studying without a mega push in the right direction.

 

[growingvegetables]

He's 11 years old, and bright?

Could be
- he's old enough and bright enough to be thoroughly bored and frustrated by "being taught" to the test - a test that he well knows does nothing for him personally?
- add to that ... a lot of the "teaching" will be geared to kids on the borderline between "what'll look good in the league tables"? Children above or below that level all too often ....... "get less attention".

Sorry - this is no help or consolation at all. But it gets worse, a LOT worse, in the couple of years leading up to GCSEs.

 

[fossyant]

Growingvegetables - you are right, he is bored, like many of the brighter kids in the class.

He really hates literacy homework, as it is as dull as ditch water !

 

[alecstilleyedye]

eldest daughter (13): a teacher's dream (if not always a parents ), who hides away upstairs doing excellent homework and for whom (in her school's opinion) oxford university beckons if she maintains the effort.
eldest son (9): hates homework, but will match his sister's efforts (from the same age) if he is interested. his teacher recognises his ability, and the fact that he is a bit selective with its application. what she did tell us was that she was unconcerned in that he's clearly a bright lad, and it's a maturity issue, essentially. she said he was better off bright and unwilling, than dumb and studious.

sounds like your experience is similar to mine foss. even as a primary school governor, i feel that there is too much homework given at too young an age. i also think that primary schools have an over-feminised curriculum at times, which doesn't suit boys terribly well. girls are happy to do homework to please the teacher, whereas boys need to see what the point of it is which, as they get older and understand the link between academic success and future life chances, they are more likely to put the effort in.

 

[fossyant]

Sounds typical for most of us. He can do some amazing work, but he has to be interested in it. No worries about either kid, but it's the 'getting in trouble' bit in class that's a problem.

Hopefully it will be better in high school, and certainly when he can chose subjects.

PS he's been really helpful after our 'little chat' and rattled off a good literacy homework, so got a new bike today (he'd out grown his previous bike, but replacement MTB seatposts are great to keep the bike perfect until they are big enough for a proper sized bike).

 

[summerdays]

My older two just got on with homework on the whole and I leave it to them to either do it or suffer the consequences. As far as I know they seem to do it.

The youngest is also SATS year (well next week now isn't it!!!). He has struggled through school a little particularly with literacy, and has had some extra small group/one to one work in Y2 and Y6 (what a surprise which years it was offered in, but the Y6 help did make a difference). However getting him to do the weekly homework (I don't mind that level since next year he will be getting multiple homeworks throughout the week), has been a complete nightmare. I have had to go and speak to the teacher multiple times to say that the work we were handing in was as a result of several hours spent not doing homework just getting stressed. In each case the teacher has been very understanding about it all and we have worked on strategies. For my son, last minute homework leaves him so stressed that he starts pulling at his clothes/ hair etc, crying getting extremely worked up.

We now have the rule that he should do it at the weekend (set on a Friday, due in the following Thur), but that if he hasn't done it by the end of the weekend (and each week he hasn't), he isn't allowed to go on the computer until it has been done. This normally results in him settling down to do it on a Monday or Tue evening straight away on coming home.

I'm dreading his reaction next year to homework.

 

[User482]

There shouldn't be a battle because there shouldn't be any homework.....

Supposedly, Finland has the world's best schools, and they don't have homework.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Supposedly, Finland has the world's best schools, and they don't have homework.

That's offset against social dancing and pickled herring though.

 

[Fab Foodie]

Just let them make theor own choices. No need to make an issue out of it.

Noodley, I wish you'd told me this years ago!

I've suffered some of the same issues Fossyant, my kids hated my involvement in their homework and with my eldest it bacame a real issue. However, backing-off and letting them get on with it in their own sweet way seemed in retrospect to have been the best policy. Now there doing A levels and off to Uni they're very commited to their own success.
My boss has a similar problem to you with her kids as they come up to exams, they've always been pushed and coached and now they're rebelling. Somehow I think kids need to be allowed to 'fail' occasionally before they appreciate and figure out what's important to them. Once they've found that out for themselves, they apply themselves better.

Let your lad get on with it for a while. Communicate what is happening with his teacher, catch him quick when he falls. If deadlines are not being met, work on it with his teacher.

Sometimes I think my kids want to suceed just to spite me!

 

[Red Light]

Here's some radical thoughts from a parent that went through this a few years ago.

Withdraw him from the SATs. We did. They were intended to be a measure of the teaching quality but the teachers put all the pressure on the kids to make themselves look good. We refused to allow the school to pressure them in that way.

Think carefully about the homework. Don't go down the path of making education something he starts to hate with a passion by forcing him to do it. If you know he can do it he really doesn't need the homework. Engage him in other things that are educational and interesting to expand his horizons rather than repeating ad nauseam stuff he can already do and is bored with. Go out to a museum, an art gallery, go on an educational trip or watch an interesting talk on the web, talk about politics or science. We used to take them out of school for a week or two in term time to go on educational trips and we had educational psychologist support for doing that. The teachers and school hated it but the kids saw that as an interesting challenge and loved it when they would fly in that morning for a test and come top of the class in it despite the jet-lag. They loved proving their point.

If he is a bright kid then often this reaction is from the utter boredom of having to do something he already knows well how to do. Disruptive and disconnected behaviour in the classroom can be the sign of a bored very bright kid. Have a read of http://www.nagcbritain.org.uk/new_parents_main.php?contentid=332&webid=251 and if you think any of it fits, book a free consultation call with them. They are great help and support if you have bright kids.

 

[rodgy-dodge]

Mine are very much a lot older now, but at this age they where just the same. My opion is they have had enough of learning in their day at school and should be consentrating on social skills when they come home from school. I had to go into primary school and tell the teachers that I wasn't going to make either of them do home work unless they wanted to. My eldest Son was finding it very difficult and to be honest had me in tears as how he was going to manage when going off to senior school. He was an absolute wizzard with computer games (knothing like they have today mind you) it was the old nintendo machine and mario / donkey kong that sort of thing. I used to say to him what a genious he would be if only he would apply his brain power to school work like he did completeing the levels. This was his way of winding down after school, just like how we as adults find a way of winding down!

He went off to senior school there he had to do homework and I would say to both my boys get it done as soon as you come home, that way the rest of your night is free to enjoy rather than worry when you come in that you still have homework to do for next day or let it mount up that you can't go out at all. To the best of my knowledge they did this but it was their responsibility they have to learn to take this and own it. My eldest Son left comprehensive with approx all C grades in his GCSE's and went off to study Business Studies at 6th form. After his first six weeks they asked to speak to my husband and myself. Mike was struggling with English, the head even said that she didn't know how he passed his GCSE in it. He had coaching with a one to one special needs after we dismissed the mith that special needs was for thick people! He was the only one in his year to pass that course with a distinction. He went on to study business at degree and was awarded 2:1. He's now working fulltime at the power station with a very demanding and stressfull job managing a maintenance team, also studying part time on an engineering degree.

My other son completed his degree in Product Design and became a tutor in the local Sixth Form where he also studied art and product design, has just been awarded head of department at the age of 26 we're so proud of both of them.

I think what I'm trying to get across is try not to worry to much at this very young age. As a parent I feel our role is to teach our kids social skills and etiquette to get on with others and to treat people no less than they expect to be treated themselves. In education they will find their way.

 

[subaqua]

Mrs Subaqua hates this time of year as lots of teachers go mental with " oh its such an important thing" . she knows that secondary schools take very little notice of what primaries do and will reasses through year 7 . we have tolsd our daughter that its not important and just to de her best and whatever happens it not a problem. she has gone from an able under achiever midway through last school year( has the talent but can't be bothered , very similar to me ), to being pout forward for the extension papers for Level 6 . now she knows there isn't the pressure she is flourishing .

League tables showing exam results are not a valid measure anyway, the "value added " figure is the one to look at. where they srtarted and where they finished.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

If your kid's looking over your shoulder fossy -

DON'T BOTHER DOING YOUR HOMEWORK!!!

I hardly ever did and look where I ended up, erm...

 

[PBancroft]

Growingvegetables - you are right, he is bored, like many of the brighter kids in the class.

He really hates literacy homework, as it is as dull as ditch water !

I don't have kids, but I can't remember being set any meaningful homework at that age. Maybe the odd sheet or two of A4 questions, but nothing particularly regular, time consuming, or difficult. I don't have anything immediately relevant to offer except my own experiences, but I do remember being very, very bored at that age. When I was around 9-11 my parents were regularly called in as I was simply refusing to do any work, especially in maths. I would simply not bother with any of it because we were going over the same twaddle again and again.

Case in point: I refused to answer any of the questions about telling the time on an analogue clock. I didn't see the point - I had a digital watch! Nobody explained why it was important and so I didn't do it. I recall having to spend time in the head teacher's office periodically telling them the time, just to prove I wasn't stupid.

It wasn't just boredom, mind you. I didn't really enjoy primary school at all and didn't want to be there. School was a place of crap work which I hated, eye tests to figure out what to do about my Duane Syndrome and I was a little bit bullied - in retrospect not badly, but the whole shebang was enough that it put me off the place and anything to do with it.

Hopefully that isn't the case for your kid, but maybe he just isn't really enjoying it there and he will find it better in a new school.

 

[Linford]

What does homework actually teach them ?
If it is continuation of a project they are working on in school, and they need more time to do it, then I would say that the schools schedule is a bit too ambitious, and leaving the kids to their own devices and expecting them to turn outthe same quality of work unsupervised as supervised is unrealistic.
The problem is that teachers like their holidays too much and try to cram too much in to the heads in the meagre time they give them. We end up with kids roaming the streets in the ridiculously long holidays bored out of their heads and looking for mishchief for weeks on end to occupy their minds.