How off putting

[ELL]

I was out today on a reliability ride with my club when someone got a p*******e and having stopped I thought it would be the perfect time to answer a call of nature. Now being wet and cold and having what I like to call saddle cock (when you have no feeling in you lower parts and your body seems to have swallowed them) this was going to be unpleasant enough. So I am at the fence just about to answer said call and admiring the views when one of the sheep in the field turns to me and stares me dead it the eye. Now normally I can pee anywhere but this was the most uncomfortable I think I have ever felt. Kind of made me wonder what normally happens to the sheep in that field when they see a errrrr........ Any way I moved a few foot further where less of me could be seen and the rest as they say is history.

 

[L.E.D.]

Guess your not welsh !

We get used to sheep watching our every move

 

[jimboalee]

Did the sheep wink and pucker her lips?

 

[jimboalee]

For heavens sake man. The sheep is Ovis and you are Homo Sapien. The sheep was naked and you weren't. What's the big deal?

 

[ELL]

I'd say it was more of a squint and a clench. Also I think it was a boy.

The wife is welsh so maybe some of the scent has rubbed off on me.

 

[ELL]

For heavens sake man. The sheep is Hovis and you are Homer Simpson. The sheep was naked and you weren't. What's the big deal?

Whats bread and a cartoon got to do with it?

 

[biggs682]

or did the sheep just laugh and walk away

 

[surfdude]

you think thats off putting make sure you dont look up monkey sh*gs frog on you tube (bet you do all who read this)

 

[Gerry Attrick]

I don't suppose the sheep has seen many blokes trying to strangle a mealworm in their pants.

 

[Maz]

I went on a longish ride a while back - went from Leicester to Cambridge. Bladder was empty when I left Leicester, but had to stop twice en route for a pee . Easy enough for us blokes - just find a suitable bush or tree away from the road. Must be a pain if you're a woman.

 

[Gerry Attrick]

A solution lies here.

 

[longers]

Sysagent of this parish managed to attract a horse when he had a comfort break on a forum ride last month .

 

[jimboalee]

Whats bread and a cartoon got to do with it?

The Hovis gag was predictable, but Homer Simpson, nice touch.

OP could have just asked, "What are you looking, square eyes?"

 

[jimboalee]

I don't suppose the sheep has seen many blokes trying to strangle a mealworm in their pants.

Nah, the ewe was thinking... "Oh no, not again. He'll never get my back legs down those shoe covers."

 

[ventoux50]

having what I like to call saddle cock (when you have no feeling in you lower parts and your body seems to have swallowed them)

W T F ?

treat yourself to a different saddle mate - if this is how you are after a ride there's a problem somewhere !