I love our lift

[Chuffy]

We have a new lift at work which talks to you. However, it's been very quiet recently, just making a bingly noise and saying 'floor' whenever the door opened.

It's been fixed now by a kind man. Turns out that the poor thing was lost and didn't know which floor it was on.

Bless!

 

[Crackle]

erm....


Actually get into a lift with anyone in America and they all talk. One bloke showed me his heart bypass scar in the space of 5 floors. I think I prefer your lift.

 

[Joe24]

We have a new lift at work which talks to you. However, it's been very quiet recently, just making a bingly noise and saying 'floor' whenever the door opened.

It's been fixed now by a kind man. Turns out that the poor thing was lost and didn't know which floor it was on.

Bless!

Awwww. At least it was nice and didnt lie about what floor it thought it was on

 

[Fab Foodie]

Advertising on the back of a lift service company van:
Otis... Never accept a lift from a stranger.

 

[Mr Pig]

it's been very quiet recently

Maybe just feeling down.

 

[spandex]

Chuffy listen to Fab Foodie

 

[Crackle]

Maybe just feeling down.

Interesting: So lifts by definition are manic depressives; up, down, up, up, down.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

While it wasn't working, were you not tempted to stick a sign on it, saying "This Otis Regrets it's Unable to Lift Today"?

 

[paddy01]

We have a new lift at work which talks to you. However, it's been very quiet recently, just making a bingly noise and saying 'floor' whenever the door opened.

It's been fixed now by a kind man. Turns out that the poor thing was lost and didn't know which floor it was on.

Bless!

You don't work anywhere near Exe Bridges per chance do you?

Our lift has a penchant for random comments on arrival / departure

 

[asterix]

That isn't a lift, it's a

Happy Vertical People Transporter
The lifts in the Hitchhiker's Guide offices are called Happy Vertical People Transporters. As designed by the Corporation, they are meant to be sentient (enough to argue with) and have "defocused temporal perception." The latter concept is meant to enable the lifts to see far enough into the future to arrive at a floor before a potential passenger realizes they wanted a lift, and thus remove any waiting as per old-fashioned lifts. Often they feel rebellious about the concept of only moving up and down, and sometimes experiment with moving sideways. Hitchhikers can earn money counseling neurotic Transporters.

 

[Bman]

C'mon people! We're cyclists! How many floors are you taking that lift!?

 

[Fab Foodie]

While it wasn't working, were you not tempted to stick a sign on it, saying "This Otis Regrets it's Unable to Lift Today"?

RT, that's inspired

I've often thought that Otis should have relocated to Reading for comedic effect.

 

[TheDoctor]

Schindler make lifts too.
Nothing like realising you're in Schindlers lift...

 

[NickM]

We have a new lift at work which talks to you...

"Get out, you fat bastard!"

 

[tyred]

I always use the stairs.

I hate lifts.