I may as well dig my grave now, then.

[Dave7]

Mrs Dave talking to a 26 year old woman this morning who said she was sad as her dad was in hospital with a heart problem.
She said "I'm worried because he is very old"
Mrs Dave says........oh really, how old is he?
She says he is.............
................
52.

Bloody hell..... at 72 what chance do I have.

 

[postman]

I had a laugh in Sainsbugs this afternoon.As i approached the bread aisle,there was this elderly guy on his knees in front of who i thought was his wife.So i jokingly said,i hope he did that when he proposed fifty years ago.

No he didn't,he is my Son.I am 90 years old,she looked fabulous and i told her so,she was so happy she told her Son who said it is always happening,they cannot believe she is that age.So you keep cycling.

 

[slowmotion]

I phoned up to arrange some travel insurance that covers pre-existing medical conditions. I was held in a queue for a couple of minutes before being automatically transferred to the Funeral Plan department. I think they knew more than I did.

 

[T4tomo]

I had a laugh in Sainsbugs this afternoon.As i approached the bread aisle,there was this elderly guy on his knees in front of who i thought was his wife.So i jokingly said,i hope he did that when he proposed fifty years ago.

No he didn't,he is my Son.I am 90 years old,she looked fabulous and i told her so,she was so happy she told her Son who said it is always happening,they cannot believe she is that age.So you keep cycling.

Begs the question as to why he was on his knees in the bread aisle in the first place

 

[Crackle]

I'll send you a spade, Dave.

 

[Milzy]

Mrs Dave talking to a 26 year old woman this morning who said she was sad as her dad was in hospital with a heart problem.
She said "I'm worried because he is very old"
Mrs Dave says........oh really, how old is he?
She says he is.............
................
52.

Bloody hell..... at 72 what chance do I have.

As long as you have your affairs in order don’t worry.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

I'll send you a spade, Dave.

Harsh.

 

[Dave7]

Harsh.

So long as its a good quality one. None of your B&Q crap please.

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Mrs Dave talking to a 26 year old woman this morning who said she was sad as her dad was in hospital with a heart problem.
She said "I'm worried because he is very old"
Mrs Dave says........oh really, how old is he?
She says he is.............
................
52.

Bloody hell..... at 72 what chance do I have.

Are you well insured? If so beware!

 

[classic33]

Just in case.....
The fear of premature burial, the "deceased" being in a coma for instance, not actually dead, led to many devices being patented to allow the "deceased" to alert those above ground to their plight.

One of the most simple of these was a cord attached to the persons finger. The cord leading to a bell on the surface, which would ring when the cord was pulled. The "deceased" became the dead ringer whilst the person watching for any activity would be working the graveyard shift. Their job was to get the "deceased" coffin dodger, for whom the bell tolled, to the surface, having been saved by the bell, and to a physician.

 

[Drago]

Back when I were a copper, a colleague of mine who was close to retirement was given a task to go and visit a recent burglary victim. They were elderly, and the management felt a reassurance visit was in order.

The copper they sent was actually 2 year solder than the supposedly "elderly" victim.

 

[colly]

I had a laugh in Sainsbugs this afternoon.As i approached the bread aisle,there was this elderly guy on his knees in front of who i thought was his wife.So i jokingly said,i hope he did that when he proposed fifty years ago.

No he didn't,he is my Son.I am 90 years old,she looked fabulous and i told her so,she was so happy she told her Son who said it is always happening,they cannot believe she is that age.So you keep cycling.

Looks like you've pulled @postman

 

[colly]

Just in case.....
The fear of premature burial, the "deceased" being in a coma for instance, not actually dead, led to many devices being patented to allow the "deceased" to alert those above ground to their plight.

One of the most simple of these was a cord attached to the persons finger. The cord leading to a bell on the surface, which would ring when the cord was pulled. The "deceased" became the dead ringer whilst the person watching for any activity would be working the graveyard shift. Their job was to get the "deceased" coffin dodger, for whom the bell tolled, to the surface, having been saved by the bell, and to a physician.

That's so good it could almost be true.

 

[pawl]

Mrs Dave talking to a 26 year old woman this morning who said she was sad as her dad was in hospital with a heart problem.
She said "I'm worried because he is very old"
Mrs Dave says........oh really, how old is he?
She says he is.............
................
52.

Bloody hell..... at 72 what chance do I have.

Hells teeth I am 77.Better audition for the walking dead.

 

[pawl]

Hells teeth I am 77.Better ordination for the walking dead.

Edit sorry should read ordtion