If I go to the corner shop...

[BigonaBianchi]

...what can i get you?

I'm suffering from hyperthermia after todays 40 mile jolly...just parked myself in front of the FA cup games on tv....but I have the munchies...so I'm cycling round to the shop....for evil things like biscuits and chocolate and coke etc

 

[TVC]

A bag of Giant Buttons please.

 

[cookiemonster]

A pint of skimmed milk, dozen large eggs and some sugar please.

Ta

 

[MossCommuter]

One of them fancy Magnums please
And a bag of pork-scratchings

 

[ianrauk]

Corner shop you say.

Qtr of kola kubes, a box of Swan Vesta, a box of drawing pins & a tin of peas (1 year out of date)

 

[Ashtrayhead]

Twix please
and a curly-wurly

 

[HLaB]

I fancy something chocolatey now ;-)

 

[Dayvo]

Pack of Spangles, sherbert dip, some 'Kojak' lollipops, blackjacks, rhubarb and custards and The Beano.

I'll give you two bob and you can keep the change.

 

[Ajay]

A bottle of illegal Vodka please.
Make that two.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

..I'm gonna need a bigger rucksack

 

[Fnaar]

A skipping rope, some Gloy glue, some Marmite and a pack of Bombay mix made on an industrial estate in Wembley, please.

 

[Cheradenine]

A copy of "40 Plus" and "Asian Babes".

 

[BigonaBianchi]

A copy of "40 Plus" and "Asian Babes".

will you back me up when I say they are for a mate?

 

[Kahuczek]

A bag of Chipmunk crisps, a tin of Smedley's garden peas, and some Findus crispy pancakes ......

 

[Cheradenine]

will you back me up when I say they are for a mate?

Look the woman behind the counter directly in the eye and proudly exclaim "These two pornographic magazines please!".

You know that she knows that you know that she knows what filthy purpose you have in mind for that particular reading material, revel in that small moment of prudish discomfort you have caused another human being.

Besides...you knew what they were with out asking so I find your plea of inocence to be suspect at the very least.