I'll never whinge about the M25 again!

[661-Pete]

Not after reading this. Poor sods! I'm wondering, what's the longest any of you can recall being stuck in gridlock? I remember a 4-hour wait on the M4, getting nowhere. And another time, abandoning the M1 somewhere near Milton Keynes and regretting it! And someone offering me a lift across London West End, I pleaded with him to drop me off, I'd walk... But nothing like this.

Mind you, after having seen this thread, it might just be the best thing that ever happened to Chinese motorists. At least it keeps them alive longer!

 

[Maz]

I saw a roadsign that said 'Delays possible until October 2010', so I took a different route instead.

 

[Brains]

Living in London since my mid teens with my family in Cornwall I have driven up and down the M4/M5 or A303/A30 more times than I can remember.
The distance is 275 miles

Record times are 3.45 as fastest (early 1990's in an Audi) and 16hrs+ in a Morris 1000 Traveler in the in late 1980's during a storm
I have also had dozens of 10+ hours trips over the years, with the time getting slower over the years (I've had the same Landrover for the last 14 years and the record is under 5 hours to well over 10 hours, same route, same vehicle)

 

[Globalti]

Mrs Gti has spent so much time on the M6 that when she dies she wants her ashes to be put in a salt cellar and attached to the bumper of a car then sprinkled the whole length of the motorway.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Not after reading this. Poor sods! I'm wondering, what's the longest any of you can recall being stuck in gridlock?

Filtering past them all must have been a hoot!!

 

[PBancroft]

About 4 hours on the M11, complete standstill. We ended up getting out and chatting with our neighbours. Did feel sorry for the girl that left her car for the one and only time to nip to the bushes for a call of nature break... just as the traffic started moving again.

As an aside... why don't motorways get so many potholes?

 

[XmisterIS]

The longest traffic jam I have ever filtered through was on the M27/A27 about 6 months back - it was solid from Eastleigh all the way to Emsworth, where there was an overturned lorry and a bit of a pile-up (no-one hurt though).

People's engines were off and they were sitting outside their vehicles talking to each other. I stopped and asked one bloke, he said he'd been there for an hour.

Surprisingly, most people were quite happy to watch me filter past on my motorbike, it was a hot day and they pulled their doors to let me past with a cheery wave - all except for one irritable old codger who glared at me and wouldn't close his door - until I told him that (a) filtering was not illegal, (b) he was causing an obstruction in the road and (c ) if he didn't close his door I would take his number plate, get witnesses (plenty of them about!) and report him to the police. He swore at me and closed his door *just* enough to let me past. So I thanked him politely.

When I got the to head of the queue, the police waved me past on the hard shoulder, where there was a gap of about 1/2 a car's width! I was most surprised and grateful!

Other than that, I have filtered through some absolute beauties on my bicycle coming out of Portsmouth and Southampton at rush-hour!

 

[Crankarm]

I saw a pic a couple of weeks which was taken some time last year I think of a football game being played on the M1 as both carriageways of the motorway had been closed due to a serious accident and huge huge queues had built up.

Some years ago didn't a lorry that was too large for the Blackwall tunnel try to go through it southbound, got stuck and the traffic build up caused grid lock in the whole of the London and south east road network? It used to often feature on those traffic chaos programmes.

Many motons are mad though. You only have to see this madness when you see the many tw*ts that tailgate the car in front at 90mph in the fast lane, looking down texting, in thick fog .......................

 

[XmisterIS]

Many motons are mad though. You only have to see this madness when you see the many tw*ts that tailgate the car in front at 90mph in the fast lane, looking down texting, in thick fog .......................

Tell me about it! Last night I was driving back from Chichester and the rain was torrential - to the point where everyone had their fog lights on. I was overtaking a lorry on the A27 - he was doing about 40mph, I was doing 50 ... when suddenly a lunatic comes flying up out of nowhere, tailgating me, flashing headlights, then dives into the gap between me and lorry when I've got past the lorry before I have a chance to pull back to the left lane, and undertakes me with a roar of the engine ... and this is in conditions where there is so much water on the road that you could easily start aquaplaning in places!!

 

[661-Pete]

I remember, not long ago on the M74 coming into Glasgow: long snarl-up because of an accident but at least it was moving - at a snail's pace. But just as we reached the spot, and saw it was an overturned car straddling the central res., the police deployed a 'safety car' and ordered everyone to a stop. We were right at the front of the queue - just our luck! Then the heavy winches were brought on and the wreckage was gradually dragged to the hard shoulder. I believe it took a bit over an hour - that was on top of the delay we'd already had in getting to that point. At least it was more entertaining than your typical jam! But I still feel sorry for those who have to put up with this daily. Why don't they go by bike? For a 400 mile journey to Scotland we don't have the option.

 

[mr_cellophane]

The M25 is a mess because it is a motorway which was never designed in its' present format.  It is 2 motorways cobbled together with a couple of links thrown in to make it work.

Check it and other Pathetic Motorways

 

[Arch]

The M25 is a mess because it is a motorway which was never designed in its' present format. It is 2 motorways cobbled together with a couple of links thrown in to make it work.

Check it and other Pathetic Motorways

I clicked on that out of vague curiosity.... Blimey, it's fascinating! I want to go and find that lost bit in Yorkshire....

Must be a great detective project.

 

[661-Pete]

The most memorable bit of trivia I can remember, about our motorway history, is the infamous "Marples* must go" section of the early M1. In the 1970s, the 3-lane motorway suddenly narrowed to 2 lanes, southbound, about 10 miles short of its London end, where it was busiest, leading to traffic mayhem. It was often stated that the slogan "MARPLES MUST GO", painted on one of the bridges, endured long after the said Marples himself had sunk into oblivion, though I never discovered this icon of bad planning for myself. Nor do I know whether Marples was in any way to blame. But he certainly got the stick.

*Ernest Marples, Minister for Transport, early 1960s.

 

[buggi]

once when going to work on the work's coach there was a crash on the northbound carriageway of the m40. We were travelling southbound but they closed the whole motorway to land the air ambulance on the southbound carriageway. we were stuck for 2 hours and one car driver knocked on the coach door to borrow the loo.

relating to the story to a friend later that evening, she told me she was travelling northbound at the same time and got stuck behind the crash. We were only delayed for 2 hours, but she was delayed for 4. The thing was, her drive to work is normally 30 mins and as she left the house she slightly needed the loo but decided, as she was running a tad late, to just go when she got to work... only then she got stuck for 4 hours. She said she couldn't go in the bushes because at the part of the motorway where she was there weren't any... just a fence and a very open field. she held on as long as she could and then in desperation hunted around her boot for something to pee in. The only thing she could find was an industrial size torch... so she emptied the batteries out and went in that. She said there was a point when she thought the cubic space in the torch was not going to be large enough to hold all of her pee.

Not long after wetting myself laughing over this ('scuse the pun) i found myself in a similar situation... left work needing the loo but thought i'd go when i got home and got stuck in traffic. 2 hours later i found myself knocking on someone's door and pleading to use their loo (couldn't go in the bushes because everyone would have seen and i was too embarrassed). She had a very nice bathroom and i took her a box of chocolates the week after as a way of thanking her for saving me from causing permanent damage to my bladder and from having to wear Tena Lady for the rest of my life.

 

[stowie]

Having a job which requires travel, I have a few tales of terrible traffic.

4 hours to do around 70 miles on a motorway is probably my worst one - and it wasn't stopped, just crawling for every foot of the journey.

My colleague got caught on the M11 a few years back when it snowed and no gritting had been done. She was stuck in her car for 11 hours before being rescued by the army and taken to a local Tescos.

Still, it all pales into insignificance to Sao Paulo. I was in Brazil last October, Sao Paulo suffered heavy rain which flooded some major motorways through the city, and the traffic reporter suggested avoiding the whole area as the congestion was stretching around 200km. I had to hear it repeated a couple of times before I believed my ears!