Insults for car drivers

[Haitch]

Help. Could you provide me with some insults for car drivers?

In a Belgian script for a teenage TV drama, a motorist who nearly runs over a pedestrian (through no fault of his own) gets called a "turbopipo" (literally: turbo clown) and a "poolkaphooligan" (polar cap hooligan) by two tramps. Any suggestions?

 

[Maz]

You get bad drivers in The Netherlands?

 

[MissTillyFlop]

Hmm, I need to be more imaginative than just calling them "sexing ladyparts"

 

[Fnaar]

Die groot bigg mestarbeetaars.

 

[Chromatic]

Isn't cockwomble the word du jour?

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Up yours you clog monkey?

 

[blazed]

Insult them because they might be ugly, fat, old etc not because they are in a car.

 

[fenlandpsychocyclist]

An insult about not being able to look left and right properly and being a danger on the road ... because of the size of their chins ... has been used by this psycho-cyclist in the past.

 

[Night Train]

Insult them because they might be ugly, fat, old etc are stupid not because they are in a car.

FTFY

I was left hooked by a cyclist the other day. Crossing a junction towards a cycle lane with narrow bollards, while closely following a friend, the cyclist behind decided to overtake me and then barge back in where there was no gap to get through the bollards.
I was so tempted not to brake and just swipe his back wheel out from under him but though better of it in case it damaged my bike.

Not all cockwombles are car drivers.

 

[Globalti]

Muppet is a pretty good, non-threatening insult.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

What response are you expecting from cyclists who also drive?

 

[colly]

I only rarely get on actual speaking terms, it's more a muttered curse that I say aloud to the inner self. I guess the idea being that if I get verbal confirmation from the outer self then I must be right.

''F***ing cockend'' is one that bursts forth unbidden most often. Sometimes the word ''sphincter'' or ''ringpiece'' preceded by an appropriate epithet.

Not often tbh. But then I don't commute.

 

[Bicycle]

Taking-it-too-Seriously Alert!!!

I try these days to avoid confrontation on the roads and to minimise any confrontation that that others have initiated.

So, no insults, no amusing hand signals, no clever retorts I wish I'd thought of but post online anyway... No lectures about Road Tax....

In my limited (40+years) experience of cycling on the roads, no situation has been solved by offering insults to the other party.

However, if we must get crude we must... No-one hurls abuse better than a son of Balkan soil.

In Geg Albanian society, many of the insults and curses are slightly Oedipal. Thus: "Ta qifsha nanen". May your mother be ****ed.

This theme is common across the Balkans, thus "Jebem ti majku" in Serbian, with a similar meaning. However, the Albanians go one generation (and one degree of offence) further.

I often used to hear "Ta qifsha nanen e nanes" This takes the act of insult one generation further back: May the mother of your mother be ****ed.

There are many worse, but that one seems to offer the best in terms of offence.

Going back to Geg society, in northern Albania, the best offence to give a car driver may be "Kena nje pune", translating as "We have business". It is a euphemism for "The next time I see you I'll kill you". There isn't much road rage in northern Albania.

 

[subaqua]

I used to use "aww feck off and go sniff yer mams knickers"

 

[col]

You you you.......... fickin car driver!!!!!!