It's just a scratch

[Janeyb]

So on my ride home tonight I saw up ahead a family on road bikes. They were pottering along and then they let rip and seemed to be having a bit of a race. Dad daughter and youngish son - who i'd say was around 11. Anyway. I watched them tear off then while I was looking away I suddenly heard a crash and saw that the young lad had hit the deck. When I caught them up I offered help as the lad was screaming in pain. He'd taken most of the skin off his arm and had several cuts and by the way he was holding his arm, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a collarbone fracture. When I asked if I could help the dad was quite rude and said its just a scratch, he's fine. Now I'm all for encouraging kids to toughen up and shrug of falls but that was ridiculous. Poor fella was in agony but as difficult as it was I left them to it. Someone's going to be pretty sore for a few days.

 

[Doseone]

Hope the little fella is ok and that it doesn't put him off. It's a difficult position to be in but if someone really doesn't want any help there's not much you can do.

 

[ianrauk]

it's competitive dad isn't it?
Poor little fellow.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

The thread title instantly reminded me of this

'Tis but a scratch!':


View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhRUe-gz690&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

it's competitive dad isn't it?
Poor little fellow.

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1AtAQM1mNw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 

[Berties]

We all want our kids to do well,but best not put them off on the way,if my youngest get injured at rugby ,I talk to him and wile deal with the Injury first and then getting him going again second,it always helps if they are winning,I feel some parents push their kids to hard,and are not really as good as they think they are,or maybe acheive what they never!

 

[Fnaar]

I appreciate the points being made in OP and subsequent (dad should probably have been a bit more worried/sympathetic/accepting of offers of help rather than rude) but there's a chance this is a 'male thing' going on, which (perhaps in different circumstances) is quite harmless, and just part of being a bloke. As a case in point, I was doing a sportive ride recently, and on a downhill bend, the bloke in front of me came off his bike (gravelly bend, I think). I stopped to help, as did two walkers who were passing by, who happened to be off-duty paramedics. Together, we made sure he was OK (he had scrapes, rips etc), his bike was OK, etc, and then one of the paramedics said "OK then. time to 'man up' and get back on the bike". Quite harmless, quite funny at the time and in the circumstances, and very much a bloke thing, I think.

 

[Keith Oates]

Janeyb, you did the right thing to stop and offer help but no doubt the Dad was also feeling a little guilty about what happened and hopefully, when you had moved on, he gave the young son the fatherly care that he needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[I like Skol]

I have to admit that when either of my 2 sons hurt themselves (and one of them invariably does!) I don't rush in to help them unless I can clearly see they are badly hurt. I always give them a few seconds or half a minute to calm down a little and assess their own condition so they can have a chance to pick themselves up. I think it is a valuable lesson for them to learn some independance in a controlled manner. Mum and Dad aren't always going to be around when sh1t happens and sometimes they are going to have to keep a level head and just sort themselves out as best they can. They can only learn what situations they can deal with themselves or when things are so bad they need to seek help if they have these little mini-catastrophies along the way.

 

[betty swollocks]

I suspect dad was in shock, a bit fraught and probably feeling a wee bit guilty.
Probably feeling even more guilty now, upon reflecting on his knee-jerk reaction to your polite enquiry.

 

[Janeyb]

I wasn't fussed he gave me the brush off. When I came off my bike swerving to avoid a pedestrian in Cambridge - I didn't accept help. It was the lad that bothered me. Can't explain it but could just tell he'd really hurt himself - possibly worse than it looked. I'm sure once dad calmed down he got the situation under control and got his son medical attention. Probably was a bloke thing. I'm probably too soft as if I see anyone in pain - physically or emotionally - I just want to make them feel better.

 

[I like Skol]

Probably was a bloke thing. I'm probably too soft as if I see anyone in pain - physically or emotionally - I just want to make them feel better.

Nail on the head? I sometimes hold my wife back from rushing in to comfort the children and almost without fail they are up and running around, giggling and squealing 90 seconds later. There is a huge amount of literature on the topic of why children (and especially boys) need a mum and a dad (or a strong male role model) as they grow up and the thing that really cuts me up is the number of kids I see being brought up by a single parent (usually the mother) where that influence just isn't present to any large degree.

 

[Fnaar]

Nail on the head? I sometimes hold my wife back from rushing in to comfort the children and almost without fail they are up and running around, giggling and squealing 90 seconds later. There is a huge amount of literature on the topic of why children (and especially boys) need a mum and a dad (or a strong male role model) as they grow up and the thing that really cuts me up is the number of kids I see being brought up by a single parent (usually the mother) where that influence just isn't present to any large degree.

This really is a fave topic of mine, though one on which I write more from emotion than considered reading; I don't have boys (I have daughters though) but even so I sense the feminisation of our society has gone a wee bit too far... boys just aren't allowed to be boys anymore. One of my girls went to "cubs" for a couple of years... the boys there were not only outnumbered, they were totally marginalised, and activities centred round cooking, sewing and non-competitive games. Boys need to be able to run about, to a certain extent challenge each other, and learn how to win and lose. I'm not saying girls don't need these things, but I just find that our society expects boys (and men) to supress quite a lot, stuff that needs to come out somehow (and I'm not (for once) talking about masturbation )

 

[Nihal]

See,we're more tougher than you think.But it's actually common for the parents to react like that.Trust me,i once watched a friend fall down(i was not responsible in any way for that)from a soft shoulder push and we all laughed at him only to realise shockingly in the next 20 seconds that his Ulna was in two pieces.He did'nt freak out,but our PE teacher didand so did the parents.


But he does have brittle bones(no,seriously),so there

 

[just jim]

That was probably an intense, emotional and painful experience for the whole family, let alone the boy. As Betty had mentioned it was no doubt out of shock.
Dealing with that would be difficult in my book too. Still, I bet he isn't posting up something about having someone look over his shoulder tutting about rudeness whilst seeing his son in agony.