People Shout The Funniest Things

[BSRU]

A Sun reading WVM, who had been inconvenienced by my bike triggering the lights to change to red and hence he had to stop, decided to shout "Twat" out of his window, probably just warning me that he was a "twat" and to be extra careful.
Later some guy who looked like he had been a heavy drinker since the age of 10 and chain smoking since he was 8 decided to say to his female accomplice, "what a poxy bike, it's got mudguards".

 

[HLaB]

Me and Seamab were cycling back through Falkirk last year when, this car came up to us and shouted 'Fat F**ks' (I think he was actually heading the other way). I'm not exactly big myself at 9 and half stone and Seamab makes my pinky look fat and this coming from a obese car driver. On reflection he might have been a Falkirk fan celebrating their relegation

 

[DrSquirrel]

What car was the 2nd one driving? I'd just turn around and say how much of a POS it is or something.

 

[corshamjim]

Funniest I had was when I pulled over to let a white van come the other way up a one-track road. Both the driver and his passenger gave me the finger in unison - it looked like something out of Wayne's World.

 

[Amanda P]

Funny. The only thing anyone ever shouts at me is "oorrwwharrhghhsmmmfft!"

Or something like that.

 

[ACS]

Not a moton by two 6th form girls.

I work in a school with a staff shower located on the first floor. I was making my way upstairs the other morning with two 6th form girls following, one of them states in a clear but mischievous tone "nice arse" to which the other replies "Yeah! For an old man." Made my day.

 

[Moodyman]

Passed another cyclist who was struggling up a big hill.

First he shouts 'show of', then he says 'you got a toe rope'

Made me laugh.

 

[ColinJ]

I had one which actually did make me chuckle. Well, as much as I could given that I was grovelling up a climb at the time ...

It was July 2004 and a big battle was taking place between a certain American rider and a certain Italian on the mountains stages of that year's Tour de France.

I'd been out for a summer evening ride and was coming home over the climb of Oxenhope Moor. There is a pub halfway up on the left and a group of young men were sat at the tables outside.

As I was climbing past them, one looked at me, looked at my bike, looked back at me and shouted "Ride Ivan, ride - Lance is catching you!"

My bike:

A tad more subtle than your typical roadside heckling!

 

[Cubist]

I had one which actually did make me chuckle. Well, as much as I could given that I was grovelling up a climb at the time ...

It was July 2004 and a big battle was taking place between a certain American rider and a certain Italian on the mountains stages of that year's Tour de France.

I'd been out for a summer evening ride and was coming home over the climb of Oxenhope Moor. There is a pub halfway up on the left and a group of young men were sat at the tables outside.

As I was climbing past them, one looked at me, looked at my bike, looked back at me and shouted "Ride Ivan, ride - Lance is catching you!"

My bike:

A tad more subtle than your typical roadside heckling!

That's a nice bike Colin, what make is it?

 

[Renard]

A Sun reading WVM, who had been inconvenienced by my bike triggering the lights to change to red and hence he had to stop, decided to shout "Twat" out of his window, probably just warning me that he was a "twat" and to be extra careful.
Later some guy who looked like he had been a heavy drinker since the age of 10 and chain smoking since he was 8 decided to say to his female accomplice, "what a poxy bike, it's got mudguards".

Surely reading (if that's the right word in the case of the currant bun) and driving is against the law.

As far as the quotes go, its good to know we are living in a such a nation of budding Oscar Wildes. The one drawback about cycling is we tend to dwell upon these examples of witty repartee

 

[Chilternrides]

"You look f***ing gay dressed like that."

"Really? I'd have had no idea you were so well up on current gay fashion trends."



Oh aye, had the old favourite last night, "You don't pay road tax..."

 

[ufkacbln]

We were out one night when a driver from a local building firm overtook with the passenger making "Wanchor" signs out of the window. After a bit of discussion in the pub we sent the following to the manager of the company.......

Dear sir,

I was cycling along the A** this evening when I was overtaken by one of your Company's vehicles (registration ** ** ***).

The passenger was leaning out of the window making gestures.

Offering sexual services on the road to complete strangers is hardly appropriate, and he is certainly not not practicing "Safe Sex"

Whilst I of course respect your enlightened and open employment of homosexual employees, I must question whether the promiscuous nature of this individual. My real concern is that as in this case he s soliciting sexual activity with complete strangers he is putting his heath at risk. Would it be possible to have a word with your employee about his promiscuity and ask that you forward the attached guidance on Safe Sex

Finally whilst I find it amazing that my elderly physique has inspired such lust in your employee, I regret that despite is kind offer to perform a sexual act, I am personally heterosexual and must decline.

Yours Sincerely

 

[ColinJ]

That's a nice bike Colin, what make is it?

It's my Armstrong Cannondale er, Basso!

Looking at that old photo has made me realise how filthy the bike is now. I think I'll give it a good clean tomorrow and check the transmission. It probably needs a new chain after 18 months moderate use. The bottom bracket could do with replacing. Hopefully the rings and sprockets are still ok - I'm not made of money!

 

[gbb]

Funnily enough, riding this morning, not particually fast because of a headwind and i see this young lad, maybe 11 or 12. he looked at me all seriously and started shouting, 'go, go, faster, faster, go on then !!!' (or something like that)
I took it as encouragement and laughed.

Funniest was stopping at a pub on a ride, all togged up. Walked into the bar with clacking cleated shoes etc....and there's a bunch of locals sat in the corner...'how did you get here then ' one of them asked....much to the hilarity of all his mates. All light hearted though.

 

[BSRU]

Surely reading (if that's the right word in the case of the currant bun) and driving is against the law.

As far as the quotes go, its good to know we are living in a such a nation of budding Oscar Wildes. The one drawback about cycling is we tend to dwell upon these examples of witty repartee

In a year of commuting on the road, it is the very first time anyone has shouted anything at me, good or bad.