Politeness > Aggression

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ohnovino

Large Member
Location
Liverpool
I've had a pretty unpleasant couple of days riding.

Yesterday's commute contained more mobile phone users, left-hooks, SMIDSYs and close overtakes than I'd usually see in a couple of months. I saw a lollipop man and the children he was helping very nearly get wiped out by a car that didn't even ease off the accelerator. Then this morning I checked the local news and saw there'd been two serious crashes on my route, both no more than 30 minutes after I'd passed, and both appear to involve fatalities.

Today wasn't much better, and after a taxi came within inches of knocking me off (when he had the whole width of a dual carriageway to pass me) I chased him down, caught him at the lights and was all set for a confrontation.

But as I pulled alongside I decided I really couldn't be bothered arguing, so I just went for pathetic levels of politeness instead: "Excuse me mate, I don't know if you realised it but you came really close to clipping me back there." To my amazement the driver was really apologetic, said "sorry" several times and we both went away smiling.

So I'm making a belated New Years Resolution: to keep calm and try to be impeccably polite during on-road altercations. I'll be interested to see if I get a better response than to my usual sweary rants.
 

yello

Guest
In my extremely limited experience of confrontation, politeness has always worked. But then I'm not one to go swinging D-locks anyway.

I have the naive opinion that, by and large, most people don't intend to endanger you and just don't realise (admitted, because sometimes they don't think!) that they have. So benefit of the doubt pretty much every time from me.
 

mcshroom

Bionic Subsonic
I try to be polite when I talk to drivers and usually get a good response back. I think most of them just don't consider close passes and things like that dangerous. However, I do think that the muppets are out in force at the moment.


I usually have a pretty easy life with traffic (as most drivers are actually considerate around cyclists), but in the last few days I've had three people try to pull out in front of me, one of whom caused me to lock up the rear as I emergency braked and countless close passes.


Worse though was the idiot in the White van (didn't get the company unfortunately) that twice tried to overtake me going up this windy road, completely blind into oncoming traffic (both he and the traffic had to stop). He shouted something about me being too far out. I was in primary as there is no escape route to the left (solid stone wall) and he couldn't have got past even if I was cowering on the edge.

(The WVM got a less polite response :evil:)
 

Glow worm

Legendary Member
Location
Near Newmarket
So I'm making a belated New Years Resolution: to keep calm and try to be impeccably polite during on-road altercations. I'll be interested to see if I get a better response than to my usual sweary rants.

You're certainly more likely to get a better reaction by staying calm. Most people will just get defensive or even aggressive if faced with an enraged, sweary cyclist, no matter how pi$$ poor their driving. It's a lot easier said than done of course, and with the adrenaline flowing, once the red mist has descended, it can be a real challenge to reign in the aggression.

I used to be a bit of a D lock swinger, but realised I wasn't doing anyone any favours, I probably looked like a prat and was definately not being a great advert for cyclists! Rise above it if you can, or failing that, a quiet chat, if possible, is always a better bet, and apart from anything else, the driver is less likely to go and antagonise the next person on a bike they come across.
 
Location
Bromley
I always say thanks, or hold up my say thanks if someone has waited politely, and given me enough room, just so they are more inclined to do it again to other cyclists, hopefully a positive experience sticks in their mind. If someone shouts at me I usually get really fed up, but think I will try to just wave ans smile at them next time, see what happens, however if someone pulls out on me etc, just anticipate it. I was knocked off once, and just felt sorry for the guy who did it, he was genuinly sorry and thought he had killed me! I had to calm him down, he gave me money for new lights and we went on our way ok :smile:
 

mcshroom

Bionic Subsonic
[quote name='arallsopp's wifey' timestamp='1296330820' post='1546772']
however if someone pulls out on me etc, just anticipate it.
[/quote]

So do I usually, but my emergency stop was because the driver stopped and waited, then she seemed to forget I was there just as I was about to pass her. I'm not sure how you can read those :smile:

[quote name='arallsopp's wifey' timestamp='1296330820' post='1546772']
I was knocked off once, and just felt sorry for the guy who did it, he was genuinly sorry and thought he had killed me! I had to calm him down, he gave me money for new lights and we went on our way ok :smile:
[/quote]

I think (or at least hope) this would be the reaction of most drivers in that situation. People do not pull off of their drives in a morning intending to hit a cyclist. Unfortunately when inside the sealed box with the radio on and clock reminding you how late you are it is possible to become removed from what's going on outside.
 

Philip Whiteman

Über Member
Location
Worcestershire
Doing an impression of the Rev. Ian Paisley can be quite a good act when confronted by an aggressive driver who starts shouting abuse. The driver soon started backing off once he realised that I was quite mentally unhinged. Spouting off a hell, fire and fury sermon in about his sinning against Christianity with various recitations of the psalms worked a treat; all done in an Ulster accent. The driver looked rather stunned, could not react and retreated to his vehicle. I suspect he was soon on the blower to the local ayslum seeking assistance to get a section order under the Mental Health Act.
 

flogster

Well-Known Member
Location
Epsom
Doing an impression of the Rev. Ian Paisley can be quite a good act when confronted by an aggressive driver who starts shouting abuse. The driver soon started backing off once he realised that I was quite mentally unhinged. Spouting off a hell, fire and fury sermon in about his sinning against Christianity with various recitations of the psalms worked a treat; all done in an Ulster accent. The driver looked rather stunned, could not react and retreated to his vehicle. I suspect he was soon on the blower to the local ayslum seeking assistance to get a section order under the Mental Health Act.

I was waiting at a road works set of lights the other morning and the lights turned to red just after a cyclist went through. Some numpty coming the other way belted on the horn and gave her a mouthful as he went past. Grinning at his mate in the passenger seat he seemed well pleased with himself.

As he drove past myself & other cyclists waiting and the lights, he looked around, realising I was watching him, bellowed out "F... Off" at me (I had done no more than catch his eye).

No idea why, but I pouted a kiss at him and he was totally thrown....I cycled off laughing at the childishness of the whole thing.


To echo main point here, not being aggressive when in a head to head moment really is the best option.
 

skudupnorth

Cycling Skoda lover
It has been a funny week with driving suddenly going from fair to crap ! To be fair some have been good and waited or have let me out but with the lighter days coming i feel a lot of other road users are relaxing a tad and not paying attention or are just ar$eholes !
 
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