Right - tomorrow's a new day. Give me a pep talk.....

[Sara_H]

The last few weeks I've been really struggling with the behaviour of drivers on the road.

On friday I was almost in tears by the time I got to work, having had two close shaves within minutes of getting on to the road, one of the drivers gave me some really foul verbal abuse after driving at me deliberately.
That day I stayed a cuople of hours late at work to avoid riding home in the rush hour.

I'm getting angrier, and have lost my rag a couple of times. Once I've calmed down I realise there's really no point, but I'm struggling to keep calm as it's happening. Problem is, its starting to get to me and make me a bit depressed. I feel like I'm losing all faith in my fellow humans, given the behavior I witness every day on the roads.

I've not been on the bike since friday. Any tips to keep me calm on the way in tomorrow morning?

 

[pplpilot]

Take your own advice - 'Once I've calmed down I realise there's really no point'
I do a LOT of miles up and down the country each year and years ago i gave up getting shitty just ain't worth it. I do the same on the bike and i very rarely get into confrontations. You will never ever change peoples attitudes on the road. Unless you actually come into contact with another vehicle then alls well, hard to swallow of course but thats my take...

 

[midliferider]

Sara, I understand how you feel. But the most important thing is how you feel about safety. The stress and other emotions take your concentration away from road and riding. Keep safe.

 

[coffeejo]

There was a thread about something similar recently, started by @GrumpyGregry. Have a read of that, there were some good tips and opinions in there. Otherwise, can you take a different route until you're feeling better about the roads again? And, IMHO, when something specific has such a negative impact on us, it's often worth looking at why we're reacting in such a way and why it continues to bother us. Speaking personally, it's usually because of something unrelated - a bit like headaches and aching shoulders being caused by stress (ie physical tension) rather than something "obvious" like staring at a computer screen all day.

 

[biggs682]

@Sara_H that does not sound good , and surely if you feel this way is it safe to ride ?

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Lots of empathy coming your way @Sara_H hang on in there....

 

[cosmicbike]

Stay calm, and try to enjoy the ride for the ride. Ignore the idiots, hum along to your own little tune, maybe even change the route somewhat for a bit of variety. How about leaving nice and early to miss the traffic?

 

[nappadang]

Losing faith in your fellow human beings is an easy thing to do and let's face it there are some horrible excuses for people out there. You just keep reminding yourself that you are a decent person and the tos**rs you've recently encountered are morons.
With regards to advice, don't do anything risky if you're not focused but something as simple as a change of route or setting off earlier may help.
What ever you decide, take care and go have a brilliant Christmas, you deserve it.
Noli nothis permittere te terere

 

[Arch]

After every ride, you are fitter. After every drive, they are one step closer to a heart attack. Deep breath, keep calm, think superior thoughts.

If you really need to vent, come up with a range of inventive and cryptic insults to leave them baffled.

 

[PpPete]

Not a lot you can really do about verbal abuse but one little tactic to try when "tooted" at by a motorist:
Put a really big cheesy grin on yer face, mouth "hello", wave madly at them as if they are a long lost friend.

Makes me feel a bit better anyway.

 

[buggi]

sometimes you get a run like this and then you get some good rides. Waving and smiling like you know them does wind them up. Or just sit up on your bike and flash your tits... And laugh as they drive off the road. Mwah ha ha

 

[derrick]

Let it all go over your head and breath, you can't change what has happened you just need to forget it and move on. sometimes easier said than done. you will be fine.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

My sympathy Sara
I had a wee spell of the cycling apprehensions last month, main reason was getting beeped to oblivion into a pothole.
Secondary reason was me trying to follow my bikability instructor's guidelines: because I lack speed, I was alienating traffic.
Anyhow, changed my usual route, started again the "bike walking at busy junctions", avoided rush hours.
After a couple of weeks I found the whole carry on silly, today I rode allover town at 4pm ... did not get beeped once
Don't give up, your confidence will return. As I don't have a car, the inconvenience of public transport spurred me into action, maybe give your car keys to hubby to hide? Good luck!

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

Make a special effort to engage with the good considerate drivers - a slight hand gesture of thanks here, a nod there, and a mouthed word of gratitude. You shouldn't have to but it should make you feel better, more positive about your journey.

I know that, these last couple of weeks, I've been stuck driving on one of south London's busiest roads for over 3 hours a day. It's inhuman and the standard of driving plus congestion is close to unbearable. I've really appreciated the small gestures of thanks that I've got for moving over to let a 2-wheeler past a traffic island in a jam. Remember, your gestures on a bike are more visible than anybody's in a tin box. Use them.

(And swear your heart out at the idiots who put you in danger - this is a cyclist's responsibility!)

 

[Sara_H]

Thanks all for replies and tips. I'm planning to re-read in the morning before I leave and Breeeeaaaaathhhhh!