· Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary
· I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
· After a night of drink, drugs and abandonment, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely.
· My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
· Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
· I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
· After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.
Nothing.
Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think.
· I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
· After a night of drink, drugs and abandonment, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely.
· My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
· Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
· I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
· After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.
Nothing.
Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think.
