BrumJim
Forum Stalwart (won't take the hint and leave...)
- Location
- Selly Oak, Birmingham
The days are getting warmer, layers are being shed, and the nights are drawing out. Winter has thrown its last hand at us for another year, and so worries of frosts, snow, and general unpleasant weather has gone. Spring is finally here.
But each season has its own problems, its own challenges to the cyclist. Spring is when wildlife stops just surviving and thinks about flightier things - sex and reproduction.
Cycling in along the canals I see geese pairing up for the fun and frolics of March and April. BUT, whilst thinking about my own years of courting it suddenly dawns on me. Geese reproducing equals goslings and stroppy parents in May, blocking the towpath, hissing at anything in sight, and refusing to let you past.
So, it is our duty, fellow towpath cyclists, to reduce this menace. However I cannot suggest that these birds are harmed in any way. So I put forward the proposal of insidious suggestions to stop the reproduction process at the start, i.e. courting phase. Hence every time that you see a goose, please whisper one of these following phrases:
"I hear that she's been seeing the Gander just round the junction."
"He's actually gay, but just scared to tell his parents."
"He's got an alcohol problem - seems OK, but you haven't seen the nasty side of him yet."
"Is that the best you can do? Surely he's not even in your league."
and therefore stopping any goose relationship before it gets serious.
Any more suggestions?
But each season has its own problems, its own challenges to the cyclist. Spring is when wildlife stops just surviving and thinks about flightier things - sex and reproduction.
Cycling in along the canals I see geese pairing up for the fun and frolics of March and April. BUT, whilst thinking about my own years of courting it suddenly dawns on me. Geese reproducing equals goslings and stroppy parents in May, blocking the towpath, hissing at anything in sight, and refusing to let you past.
So, it is our duty, fellow towpath cyclists, to reduce this menace. However I cannot suggest that these birds are harmed in any way. So I put forward the proposal of insidious suggestions to stop the reproduction process at the start, i.e. courting phase. Hence every time that you see a goose, please whisper one of these following phrases:
"I hear that she's been seeing the Gander just round the junction."
"He's actually gay, but just scared to tell his parents."
"He's got an alcohol problem - seems OK, but you haven't seen the nasty side of him yet."
"Is that the best you can do? Surely he's not even in your league."
and therefore stopping any goose relationship before it gets serious.
Any more suggestions?
