Suicide Squirrels!

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XmisterIS

XmisterIS

Purveyor of fine nonsense
Location
Darkest 'Aaaaamshur. 'ere be dragons.
Why do they do it?? I narrowly avoided ploughing one into the tarmac ....

Why do they sit at the side of the road, one paw raised, looking at you in quivering terror, then just as you get right on top of them they crap themselves and bolt out into the road!!!

One can almost imagine the thought process ... "Oh God, shall I do? Oh I'm not gonna do it! Oh crap, I wanna do it! Oh no, Oh yes! Oh no, yes! Yes! Here I go! Banzaii!!! .... " (splat).

You would have thought that the process of evolution would have hard-wired into their brain the message that: big, fast-moving object = predator, therefore run like buggery AWAY from it, not TOWARDS it!!!!

Seriously, you try it on foot - run towards a squirrel and I guarantee it will run away from you. Now try it on a bicycle ... it will panic, shoot itself and run all over the place haphazardly.

Idiot, animals!
 
Sheffield_Tiger

Sheffield_Tiger

Legendary Member
That's why I treat squirrels, rabbits, pheasants and the like as I do pedestrians - because they behave just like pedestrians! ;):laugh:
 
summerdays

summerdays

Cycling in the sun
Location
Bristol
You don't look menacing enough
icon_twisted.gif
... having had those rats with tails living in my roof before I am only worried about if I would come off as I squashed it
biggrin.gif
- therefore they always run a mile when they see me.
 
M

MartinC

Über Member
Location
Cheltenham
XmisterIS said:
Why do they do it?? I narrowly avoided ploughing one into the tarmac ....

Why do they sit at the side of the road, one paw raised, looking at you in quivering terror, then just as you get right on top of them they crap themselves and bolt out into the road!!!

One can almost imagine the thought process ... "Oh God, shall I do? Oh I'm not gonna do it! Oh crap, I wanna do it! Oh no, Oh yes! Oh no, yes! Yes! Here I go! Banzaii!!! .... " (splat).

You would have thought that the process of evolution would have hard-wired into their brain the message that: big, fast-moving object = predator, therefore run like buggery AWAY from it, not TOWARDS it!!!!

Seriously, you try it on foot - run towards a squirrel and I guarantee it will run away from you. Now try it on a bicycle ... it will panic, shoot itself and run all over the place haphazardly.

Idiot, animals!
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The best to treat wildlife is to aim for it. Their instinct is to get out of the way and they will. If you try and avoid them it confuses the situation. This works with intelligent pedestrians too but many lack basic survival instincts and will be confused whatever you do.

P.S. None of this applies to chickens, their behaviour is random..
 
M

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
HLaB said:
I cant recall ever having a problem with squirrels running out, rabbits and cats on the other hand and the occasional low flying bird :wacko:
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I was going down a steep hill one morning quite recently and it started off with me seeing a fox running along the road quite a distance in front of me.
I had almost caught up with it when it bolted off into a field, whilst almost at the same moment, a deer ran over the road in the other direction a little bit further in front of me, and then almost immediately after that, some rabbits appeared and one 'raced' me down the middle of the road before darting off the road right in front of me, narrowly missing my front wheel, and I mean NARROWLY!!

Honestly, some people spend days sitting hides waiting for things. I saw all of that within about 20 seconds! :rolleyes:
 
HLaB

HLaB

Marie Attoinette Fan
Location
That little part of Scotland known as Peterborough
Mad Doug Biker said:
I was going down a steep hill one morning quite recently and it started off with me seeing a fox running along the road quite a distance in front of me.
I had almost caught up with it when it bolted off into a field, whilst almost at the same moment, a deer ran over the road in the other direction a little bit further in front of me, and then almost immediately after that, some rabbits appeared and one 'raced' me down the middle of the road before darting off the road right in front of me, narrowly missing my front wheel, and I mean NARROWLY!!

Honestly, some people spend days sitting hides waiting for things. I saw all of that within about 20 seconds! :rolleyes:
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The last close one I had was going down this hill in the pitch black when something jumped out of the verge on my left and somehow jumped under my BB (how'd the f did it miss my cranks) I heard a scream but I never felt a bump so I guess it made it. If it had been a wild animal that have been :becool: but no it was a domestic cat.
 
P

Peter10

Well-Known Member
fossyant said:
Genuine............ and they are carbon forks with an alloy steerer - PS steel or carbon or what ever...you'd be on your face very fast......
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Hmm, Someone should sharpen their spokes & forks to a fine razor like surface and come back with a report of their squirrel slicers.
 
HJ

HJ

Cycling in Scotland
Location
Auld Reekie
martint235 said:
Please tell me that is some kind of mock up!!! I'd be so p*****d if a squirrel did that to my forks!
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If you google around you will find there are a number of instances of squirrels to dive into cycle wheels, with the inevitable results...
 
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