Suicide Squirrels!

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ferret fur

Well-Known Member
Location
Roseburn
I once had a squirrel which ran from left to right ahead of me on the cyclepath, and then just as I got there he did a rapid 180 and dived underneath my wheels. Dunno how I missed him. I turned round and yelled 'MORON!!' at him. It was about this point I realized I was letting the stresses of cycle commuting get to me.:wacko:
 

BentMikey

Rider of Seolferwulf
Location
South London
LMAO! Especially coming from a ferret!
 

gaz

Cycle Camera TV
Location
South Croydon
I had a suicidal water bottle the other day, wind blew it one way, a passing bus blew it the other just as i was going past it and the bottle cap end went right under my front wheel and nearly caused me to stack :sad:
 

goo_mason

Champion barbed-wire hurdler
Location
Leith, Edinburgh
My favourite suicidal squirrel was the one who fell out of a tree and landed directly in front of me as I approached. It must have knocked itself out for a second or two, as it just lay there before getting to its feet, suddenly seeing me approaching, and making a mad dash to run up the fence and back into the tree. Unfortunately, it must have still been a little dazed as it didn't jump high enough and simply rebounded off the fence back into the path before running off again and managing the jump properly the second time.

The whole thing was verging on a Looney Tunes cartoon moment, and did make me chortle for the next wee while.
 

Amanda P

Legendary Member
Goo's story reminds me of a similar looney tunes moment.

Years ago when I was a paper boy (yeah, that many years ago), I surprised a squirrel helping itself to chips from a discarded packet in a pedestrian precinct by the river. It panicked and ran towards the river. Realising there was no escape that way except along a narrow pipe over the river, it ran out along the pipe.

About half way over, it began to realise that the pipe was far too narrow to balance on, and lost its balance. It fell off, but grabbed at the pipe and made a marvellous recovery. It hauled itself up under the pipe and for a moment looked like making it across the river hanging underneath the pipe by its claws. But that failed too and it fell off into the water.

It swam quite strongly towards the far bank, but couldn't climb out up the vertical brick sides. The last I saw of it, it was swimming enthusiastically against the current and thus remaining quite stationary.

It could have just run away up a tree, but instead chose the best slapstick sequence it could think of. A pity it was six in the morning and there was no-one there to see it but me.
 

Davidc

Guru
Location
Somerset UK
That's why I treat squirrels, rabbits, pheasants and the like as I do pedestrians - because they behave just like pedestrians! ;):laugh:

No, pheasants are different.

The ones beside the road don't want to wait until someone comes along and shoots them - they're the ones who'd prefer to end it all themselves and they're just waiting for the right moment to jump ....................
 

Hacienda71

Mancunian in self imposed exile in leafy Cheshire
Friend of mine hit a squirrel going 30 mph smashed some teeth broke his nose and wrote of the front end of his titanium Lemond. Not nice
 

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
I once had a squirrel which ran from left to right ahead of me on the cyclepath, and then just as I got there he did a rapid 180 and dived underneath my wheels. Dunno how I missed him. I turned round and yelled 'MORON!!' at him. It was about this point I realized I was letting the stresses of cycle commuting get to me.:wacko:

....But then the stress came RIGHT back away when you suddenly realised that there was a bloke the size of a brick Sh*t house following you and thought you were calling him the moron! :biggrin:


It could have just run away up a tree, but instead chose the best slapstick sequence it could think of. A pity it was six in the morning and there was no-one there to see it but me.

I'm calling the RSPCA on you!

Seriously though, I'd have tried to help it out. If it had let me that is!

Friend of mine hit a squirrel going 30 mph smashed some teeth broke his nose and wrote of the front end of his titanium Lemond. Not nice

That's what you get if you drive a Lemon!
Sorry, couldn't resist, I'm sure it wasn't pretty.

How did he manage it anyway??



Yeah, this multiquote thingy is great! not one, but THREE totally innane responses in ONE post!! :laugh:
 
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