thank you generic farmer in generic land rover...

[iLB]

... for your fantastic contribution to my road saftety this afternoon, most helpful sir... NOT

we were dealing with the second puncture of the ride, with a 3/4 split of people standing off the road on either side of the road (perfectly safe and reasonable places to be waiting while the puncture was sorted). queue mr. farmer driving up and stopping between us (clearly showing that there was room for him to pass) and begins telling us that we should all be on one side of the road and that our bikes are 'littering' the road . unfortunately for him we were more than happy to state our case, that we had done nothing wrong and were perfectly safe and happy to stay where we were; clearly this did nothing but anger the beast as he decided he would then like to get out of his tank (having just threatened to throw my mate john over the wall and demand that we identify ourselves so that he could call the police (??), and my other friend introduces himself as Hugh Jass brilliant- even more so as the guy didn't realise and merely repeated the name! ohh dear all fun and games eh, eventually he gave up trying to tell us what to do and revved off, fortunately it didn't spoil our ride funny ones these motons...

 

[Arch]

Oh, how brilliant would it be if he rang the police to complain and gave them that name, a la Moe in the Simspons...

 

[ASC1951]

I was out for my morning jogette yesterday and trotted past Mr Piggy, just getting out of his Jag, parked on a corner on double yellows outside the bank, just because he was too idle to park it for free 50 yards away and walk.

"Nice parking, mate", I offered, "Have you always been like that, or only since you got this tossbox?"

Torrent of abuse follows me up the road, but right on cue there is the Traffic Warden. "Easy pickings for you, my lad! Fat bloke who thinks he owns the road, you can't miss him".

TW strides off, biro and booklet of £50 Notices at the ready.... Result!

 

[Arch]

Oh, that's beautiful!

 

[thomas]

Oh, how brilliant would it be if he rang the police to complain and gave them that name, a la Moe in the Simspons...

Hehe. We once got the security guards to read a message out across the entire shopping centre. We claimed that someone had left their credit card in the shop, and if they could read the guy's name out so he could come back and get it..."a Mr Ness...initial is P".

A few moments later..

"Will a Mr P Ness please return to *****."

The guy didn't realise until we told the story to his boss who found it hilarious!! After that he always came down and checked the credit card even existed!

 

[Apeman]

My pal once asked our canteen lady to call out across a crowded canteen for a telephone call for Mike Hunt!!!!!!!

 

[02GF74]

why didn't you get him to phone the police and sort it out there and then?

 

[upsidedown]

I was out for my morning jogette yesterday and trotted past Mr Piggy, just getting out of his Jag, parked on a corner on double yellows outside the bank, just because he was too idle to park it for free 50 yards away and walk.

"Nice parking, mate", I offered, "Have you always been like that, or only since you got this tossbox?"

Torrent of abuse follows me up the road, but right on cue there is the Traffic Warden. "Easy pickings for you, my lad! Fat bloke who thinks he owns the road, you can't miss him".

TW strides off, biro and booklet of £50 Notices at the ready.... Result!

Beautiful!

Saw a Mitsubishi Warrior type thing parked diagonally across two parking spaces in Kidderminster a couple of weeks ago, parking ticket stuck to the window.
Lots of people walking past, pointing and laughing at it, brilliant.

 

[Norm]

Can't remember if I've already written this but I get pissed off by those parking in "disabled" bays. I take great pleasure in telling the drivers that the bays are for the physically, not the mentally, disabled.

 

[weevil]

...and my other friend introduces himself as Hugh Jass...

"Will a Mr P Ness please return to *****."

If you like that kind of humour, try this. It's been around a while, but deserves a bump now and again.

http://www.netjeff.com/humor/audio/AirportPrank.html

 

[Alan Whicker]

A coupla years ago I was dangerously tailgated by a bloke in a Porsche Cayman - almost all the way along Millbank along the Thames. Very scary - until he overtook me (very closely) just past Vauxhall bridge and got flashed by the Gatso. I was actually on my elderly Vespa, not a bike, but it was still sweet.