Thursday Jokes

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Greedo

Guest
Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ''Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.'' He calls and asks for some condoms.


The woman says, ''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?''


''No,'' he says, ''I'll suffocate!''

**************************************************

An Aberdeen Farmer buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try
artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know
when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop
standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when
they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they
are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't
take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to
the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back,
and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
Try again.' he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive
them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon
returning home, falls knackered into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look
out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep
are lying in the grass.


'No,' she says, 'they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is
beeping the horn.'
 

ChrisKH

Guru
Location
Essex
What's the capital of Iceland?
























£3.50
 
Greedo said:
Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ''Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.'' He calls and asks for some condoms.


The woman says, ''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?''


''No,'' he says, ''I'll suffocate!''

/Spits black coffee everywhere/:tongue::biggrin:
 

swee'pea99

Legendary Member
Newlyweds arrive at the hotel. 'Do you have reservations?' asks the receptionist. 'Only one. She won't take it up the ****'.
 
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