Halfmanhalfbike said:
It's amazing how you can think of all the really witty responses afterwards but by then it's too late
Practice in your head as you're cycling along on hypothetical situations. It's a useful addition to the "running commentary" method of avoiding problems, i.e.
...
That bloke in the car to my right might be getting angry that I'm in primary position in my lane despite the fact he's got a whole lane in which to overtake me. There's a road on the left coming up, if he wants to turn in there he may left hook me. If he winds down his window and rants at me I think I'll choose the "You must have such a tiny penis to be that angry!" line.
...
...
Women and child crossing walking along the road, they probably want to cross the road but since they can't hear a car coming they'll probably just launch out into the road without looking first, in which case I'll screech to a halt as close as I can and try:
"Do you know how to cross the road safely? You know; stop, look and listen? No, not you, I'm talking to your daughter. Good! OK, perhaps you can teach your mummy how to do it properly."
...
...
etc. I have used both, the first is one of my favourites. The second one left me sniggering all the way home as the little girl (probably 10 years old) was giggling at how annoyed her mum was.
)
