What learning chance do you give animals / pest's to do ?

[biggs682]

I give woodlice the chance of learning to swim by throwing them in the toilet bowl.

What do you do ?

 

[Drago]

Biggs wins today's Drago's Chuckle of the Day Award. Good moves, Sir.

 

[MichaelW2]

I teach cats bat and ball skills.

 

[Dirk]

I give woodlice the chance of learning to swim by throwing them in the toilet bowl.

What do you do ?

That's just plain nasty.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

What an utterly nobberish OP

 

[Drago]

I've taught Lemmy the usual tricks and commands;

Sit
Stay
Paw
Shaky Hands (gives a handshake)
High Five
Death of Nelson (plays dead but takes ages to 'die' in dramatic fashion)
Bang Bang (plays dead)
Guard (sits by Mrs D and absolutely will not leave her side for anything)

And my favourites...

ISIS (runs up and down like a loon barking)
Commies (growls)
Nicola Sturgeon (howls like a werewolf)
Jeremy Corbyn (shakes head from side to side like a cow with CJD)

He's extremely easy to train, usually ten or less repetitions and he gets it. A waste of a finely bred gun dog, but the up side of the genetic heritage is a highly intelligent dog that's prepared to fight off invasions by Russia, Islamic fundamentalists, the Labour Party, or Scotland, should the need ever arise.

 

[Welsh wheels]

I give woodlice the chance of learning to swim by throwing them in the toilet bowl.

What do you do ?

I give spiders the chance to see inside a hoover

 

[Drago]

I teach wabbits to run from shotgun pellets. Its a steep learning curve.

 

[TVC]

I have taught my cat to ignore me and do whatever the hell she likes. She's a natural.

 

[Spiderweb]

I've tried to teach slugs to run from salt... They are not good runners!

 

[TVC]

I've been training a racing snail. In order to try and get him to go faster I removed his shell, but if anything it just made him more sluggish.

 

[wheresthetorch]

I teach ladybirds that it's much nicer to be out in the sunshine than stuck in my living room.

 

[Drago]

I've been trying to make spiders run faster by focusing the sun on them with a magnifying glass. Early results are disappointing.

 

[wheresthetorch]

I've been trying to make spiders run faster by focusing the sun on them with a magnifying glass. Early results are disappointing.

Charred-arachnids of Fire?

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I teach ladybirds that it's much nicer to be out in the sunshine than stuck in my living room.

I teach them about lunch on my black fly ridden beans