What's that smell?

[XmisterIS]

I walked in the door today, and thought I smelt something ...

sniff, sniff ... what's that? Dunno. Sniff, sniff ... smells ... fetid. I think. Perhaps it's the rubbish bin? Nope.

Then I went into the bathroom to use the loo. I popped up the lid and found ...

... this morning's turd ...

... huge ...

... unflushed ...

... having sat there all day ...

... in a warm room ...

I got a full-strength waft in the face as I opened the lid ... I nearly vomited.

(I just thought I'd share that with you!)

 

[TVC]

Thanks.

 

[gbb]

[QUOTE 1349735"]
I could regale you of my own home visits and similar odours and discoveries, but the best one wasn't one of mine....


Until last year I worked with a fireman. He was called out to a house fire once, and they arrived and made their way into the house. There were little piles of poo between the bed in the main bedroom and the toilet. He lifted the lid on the toilet to find it completely full to the brim with the brown stuff, and with two shiny butt-cheek-shaped indents in the top of the pile.
[/quote]

Noooooooo

My worst experience was trying desperately to find a public loo in Crete, ahhh, found one, one of those portaloos....opened the door it looked like someone had thrown a grenade in there, sh1t and paper ALL over the place. jesus, the stench. I found a local bar and used theirs.

 

[Maz]

XmnisterIS...who is that in your avatar?...looks like someone from a 1970s kids' TV series.
Is he from Rent-a-Ghost?

 

[zacklaws]

Quote from the film "Johnny English" when there sat in the car, he's covered in shite and the other two are gagging.

Johnny English:- Look pull yourself together, it's only a bit of poo.

 

[upsidedown]

That reminds me of my visit to the sole toilet at the campsite at Gelsenkirchen at the 2006 World Cup, the morning afterEngland were knocked out. How they managed it without step ladders remains a mystery to me to this day.

 

[skudupnorth]

Czech toilets are good for that,they have a shelf where your dump lands before it is washed away so you can have a good look.....not that i would look at my dumps after many pints of dark beer and goulash

 

[subaqua]

my abiding memory of the "turdis" ,as they are known to builders across the land, is of a warm sunny day in Urmston back in 1993. we were working on a new development at Charleston Square the Junction of moorside road/princess road( the site of the old swimming pool ) when the envronment lorry arrived to empty the row of them.

sadly the driver had forgot to switch the lever from suck to blow and sent a cascade of Sh*t across site. The smell was indescribable and lingered for a few days.

 

[Globalti]

The drinking urine scene in 127 hours, also directed by Danny Boyle, is equally graphic.

 

[biggs682]

not me i left my whiff outside after my blast around the block , so must be the cat

 

[perplexed]

More of a trumping story really...

In my attempt at a half-assed "training" ride for the Cheshire Cat, I arranged to meet a chum in the Peak District at a boozer.

Anyway, after I'd consumed my grub and a pint of Kelham Island brewery's (highly recommended) Rider's of the Storm real ale, I remounted my trusty steed to head back to Sheffield.

I rode up the hill from Hathersage, and got near to the top at Suprise View, when there was an incredible growling from my lower reaches. I'd got one of those very sudden, very high pressure escaping gas emergencies.

The dilemma. Do I control the release, if indeed this were possible? This would involve compromising my climbing effort.

Or do I lift myself from the saddle and fire away?

No contest.

A quick look round...

Nobody about...

So FIRE!!


Except I'd forgotten to look up, at the outcrop of rock above me, and entirely missed the party of fluffy, grey headed pensioners watching me in total silence...

In contrast to my emissions, which I'm convinced sounded like a sonic boom.