Why blind dates are a BAD idea ...

[XmisterIS]

On this gloomy Friday morning with the promise of yet another weekend of cold, wind and rain after a week of glorious sunshine (third in a row), I thought I would share why I will never go on another blind date again ...

XmrsIS as was is now exXmrsIS, and so I have decided to put my dating hat on, get out amongst it, throw out some funky shapes and do my wild thang.

Anyway, I agreed to meet a woman from a dating site without having seen a photo of her first. We arranged to meet in Winchester one lunchtime and then go for a meal in Pizza Express. I wasn't bothered about seeing her photo or getting to know her beforehand. "If the worst comes to the worst, she can't be that bad", I told myself.

Well. I sat in the pub, waiting for her to arrive. She was a little late and texted me to tell me. "Nice and thoughtful of her to let me know", I thought, "this is going well so far!".

Then a gorgeous (and I mean gorgeous) blonde walked in ("Hubba hubba! My luck is in!", thought I) ... and she walked over to an impossibly handsome guy sitting at the bar ("Damn it!", thought I).

Then a whole troop of women walked in and not one among them was unattractive. I made motions to get up off the sofa and say, "hi", I was certain that one of them was her ... but not so. Slight disappointment.

So I waited. After a few minutes, a woman walked in ... who can only be described as the half-sister of Quasimodo ... only he's the looker ("Oh God ...", thought I). She stopped. ("Oh God, oh God", thought I). Then she turned, looked at me, walked over (well, shuffle-waddled), stuck out her hand and said, "Hi! Are you XmrIS?". I nearly vomited into my crotch.

I had told her beforehand that we were going for a meal, so I thought I should honour the deal. My only hope was that I would somehow be able to feed the restaurant staff with rohypnol so they didn't remember a thing. Then I would take rohypnol too so I didn't remember a thing. Unfortunately, I didn't have any rohypnol.

She turned out to be particularly stupid, boring and devoid of any interests or pastimes as well as being fat and ugly. She also had an air about her of being slightly deranged and manic.

Poor woman! Anyway, this is a cautionary tale for anyone considering going on a blind date with someone you've only just met on the internet!

 

[phil_hg_uk]

.....been there, done that

 

[Globalti]

Jeeze, I did that once as well, it was through an ad in Time Out; in the early 80s the internet hadn't been invented. She advertised herself as an attractive blonde motorbiker / struggling actress so we agreed to meet at a pub that was popular with bikers. So there I was sitting outside watching people arrive when this female arrived on a bike, parked it and removed her helmet.... "Oh Gawd", I was thinking, "It CAN'T be...." but it was. She was late because she had just set her flat on fire burning some sausages and the fire brigade had come. We had a drink and I though that was the last I would see of her but.... the following weekend my brother had come to stay and we thought we would have a few drinks at the flat I rented. Mid evening the phone rang; it was the motorcyclist. She wanted to come over because she was feeling depressed. Stupidly I agreed and soon afterwards she turned up and joined in the drinking. Of course she couldn't ride home so she ended up in my bed, both of us drunk. I have conveniently forgotten what happened or didn't happen but I do remember being woken up by the sound of her gasping for breath. It turned out she was having an asthma attack and had lost her inhaler. She had a spare at home so I gratefully suggested she ought to ride home and get herself sorted out. That was the last I saw of her. Next morning my brother emerged, stuck his head round the kitchen door and asked where she was. When I explained what had happened during the night he didn't hold back: "Gawd! Where did you meet her? What a MONSTER!"

Never again!

 

[Kirstie]

I've never been on a blind date but one of my friends (a bloke) had a very similar experience to that. On the dating site he used there was a photo of 'the date', but it was about ten years out of date and what the woman had failed to mention was that she had almost doubled in size since the photo was taken. My friend, a very keen cyclist with the build to match, was impressed by her profile on the dating page, partly because she said she was into exercise and had a really interesting job. He wanted to run for it as she waddled out of the mist to where they were going to meet. But they had dinner, and then he said he'd walk her to the station so she could get her train home. It was only about 500 yards or so, but lots of wheezing and sweating ensued from the 'date' and he couldn't get away fast enough. 'You live and learn', as they say....

There must be females who have similar stories too...

 

[theclaud]

a woman walked in ... who can only be described as the half-sister of Quasimodo ... only he's the looker ("Oh God ...", thought I). She stopped. ("Oh God, oh God", thought I). Then she turned, looked at me, walked over (well, shuffle-waddled), stuck out her hand and said, "Hi! Are you XmrIS?". I nearly vomited into my crotch.

Nice. Post a photo of yourself, then, XmisterIS, and we'll have a poll about whether you're a minger or not, and see if anyone vomits...

 

[PpPete]

oooh, miaow

 

[XmisterIS]

Nice. Post a photo of yourself, then, XmisterIS, and we'll have a poll about whether you're a minger or not, and see if anyone vomits...

Oh, ok, if you insist!

Here we go:

Not quite my best shot, but pretty close!

 

[Smokin Joe]

Nice. Post a photo of yourself, then, XmisterIS, and we'll have a poll about whether you're a minger or not, and see if anyone vomits...

Now come on TC, it is a well known fact that women go for men because of our wit and charm, not anything as shallow as our looks.

But if a bird can't make the effort to make herself look a bit of all right...

 

[gary r]

On this gloomy Friday morning with the promise of yet another weekend of cold, wind and rain after a week of glorious sunshine (third in a row), I thought I would share why I will never go on another blind date again ...

XmrsIS as was is now exXmrsIS, and so I have decided to put my dating hat on, get out amongst it, throw out some funky shapes and do my wild thang.

Anyway, I agreed to meet a woman from a dating site without having seen a photo of her first. We arranged to meet in Winchester one lunchtime and then go for a meal in Pizza Express. I wasn't bothered about seeing her photo or getting to know her beforehand. "If the worst comes to the worst, she can't be that bad", I told myself.

Well. I sat in the pub, waiting for her to arrive. She was a little late and texted me to tell me. "Nice and thoughtful of her to let me know", I thought, "this is going well so far!".

Then a gorgeous (and I mean gorgeous) blonde walked in ("Hubba hubba! My luck is in!", thought I) ... and she walked over to an impossibly handsome guy sitting at the bar ("Damn it!", thought I).

Then a whole troop of women walked in and not one among them was unattractive. I made motions to get up off the sofa and say, "hi", I was certain that one of them was her ... but not so. Slight disappointment.

So I waited. After a few minutes, a woman walked in ... who can only be described as the half-sister of Quasimodo ... only he's the looker ("Oh God ...", thought I). She stopped. ("Oh God, oh God", thought I). Then she turned, looked at me, walked over (well, shuffle-waddled), stuck out her hand and said, "Hi! Are you XmrIS?". I nearly vomited into my crotch.

I had told her beforehand that we were going for a meal, so I thought I should honour the deal. My only hope was that I would somehow be able to feed the restaurant staff with rohypnol so they didn't remember a thing. Then I would take rohypnol too so I didn't remember a thing. Unfortunately, I didn't have any rohypnol.

She turned out to be particularly stupid, boring and devoid of any interests or pastimes as well as being fat and ugly. She also had an air about her of being slightly deranged and manic.

Poor woman! Anyway, this is a cautionary tale for anyone considering going on a blind date with someone you've only just met on the internet!

She might be telling her friends the same story!!!!!

 

[Yellow Fang]

Must be the same blind date I met.

 

[theclaud]

Now come on TC, it is a well known fact that women go for men because of our wit and charm, not anything as shallow as our looks.

But if a bird can't make the effort to make herself look a bit of all right...

What if he's a witless, charmless minger, then? I still think we need photos...

 

[tyred]

I went on a blind date once and the woman weighed about 25 stone.

 

[Silver Fox]

What if he's a witless, charmless minger, then? I still think we need photos...

How about some of you, go on I dare you, infact I double dare you

 

[XmisterIS]

She might be telling her friends the same story!!!!!

She's definitely telling her friends the same story!

 

[theclaud]

How about some of you, go on I dare you, infact I double dare you

There are plenty of pictures of me on the site, but it's beside the point, seeing as I'm not starting threads disparaging the appearance of others. Disparaging is putting it a bit mildly, actually.