Worst Christmas ever?

[Fnaar]

Just a thought for a thread that might let you tell either funny stories, or get something off your chest. Christmas can be a good or bad time, and the fact of the holiday sometimes brings out the best or the worst in people. My worst one was probably 1980, when I was working Christmas day, (cleaner in a hospital) but got quite badly beaten up in a pub the night before, by some gorilla, for no apparent reason (other than asking him if he was wearing a wig).
I made it to work the next day, but I had a bruised stomach for about a week.

 

[TVC]

It would be 2005 when we buried my mother on Christmas Eve. Just an accident of timing, Christmas didn't happen at all, we all had other stuff on our minds. However it's not something we have dwelt on since.

 

[ColinJ]

It would be 2005 when we buried my mother on Christmas Eve. Just an accident of timing, Christmas didn't happen at all, we all had other stuff on our minds. However it's not something we have dwelt on since.

Horribly familiar, I'm afraid ...

Last Christmas, I spent the 24 hours from noon on Christmas Eve to noon on Christmas Day holding my mother's hand and waiting for the inevitable to happen.

The nurses had bought presents for all the patients. On Christmas morning, a young nurse poked her head through the curtains round the bed and said that she had a present for my mum. She looked at the morphine drip, she looked at me, I choked up trying to say thank you and squeezed her hand instead. The nurse looked like she was going to cry and took refuge in the ward office. My mum never got to open her present ...

I'm trying not to dwell on my family's awful Christmas either, but the emotional pressure has been building for weeks now. I'm doing my best to have a really quiet December. My avatar may be wearing a santa hat, but I certainly won't be this year!

 

[TVC]

Colin, I've been trying to form a supportive response for a while, but the right words are not coming, so all I can say is I understand where you are right now.

We as a family decided to remember Margaret on her birthday, not her death day. We have separated what happened in 2005 from Christmas generally. My mum wouldn't want to spoil our Christmasses for years to come, I suspect yours wouldn't either.

 

[ColinJ]

Colin, I've been trying to form a supportive response for a while, but the right words are not coming, so all I can say is I understand where you are right now.

We as a family decided to remember Margaret on her birthday, not her death day. We have separated what happened in 2005 from Christmas generally. My mum wouldn't want to spoil our Christmasses for years to come, I suspect yours wouldn't either.

Thanks. There is never a good time to lose a loved one, but it is especially hard at a time when there is such pressure to eat, drink and be merry!

No, my mum wouldn't want us to be miserable. In fact, that is pretty much the last thing she said to us. She had a wicked sense of humour and once we've had another year or two to get over last Christmas we will start getting together as a family again and remembering some of her jokes, it's just still a bit raw this year! We are going to do the New Year thing instead this year. My mum was Scottish so Hogmanay was very important to her.

 

[NormanD]

I'm sorry for your loss at such a time to both TVC and CJ .

Mine would have been in 1973 when my younger brother burnt down the house the day before Christmas eve. Nothing was fire retardant in them days, plus we had an open fire to heat the house, so my younger brother, after snapping one of the ceiling decorations (home made streamers) decided to test to see if it would burn (who knows whats in the mind of a youngster).

Withing seconds of touching the streamer with a splinter of burning wood from the fire, the whole ceiling decorations were in flames, followed by the Christmas tree, followed by the curtains and furniture, we (the family) had already legged in out the door by then.

In no time at all the whole house was ablaze (along with everything we owned) and since not many people owned a telephone at home, it took an age before the fire brigade arrived, by then the house was a goner.

We spent Christmas spread out amongst other family members (single mother and five kids), I remember my presents that year, a selection box, a box of liquorice allsorts and a pair of socks!
Still the best present was we were all safe, it could have been so much worse!

My bother still gets a ribbing about it even to this day!

 

[fossyant]

9 or so years ago, wife's big bro died of brain tumour - only early 40's, complicated by living in Hong Kong.

 

[2PedalsTez]

Thanks. There is never a good time to lose a loved one, but it is especially hard at a time when there is such pressure to eat, drink and be merry!

I couldn't agree more. I lost my mum last year (the anniversary is Monday) and have to confess to finding it quite tough. She had fought a long battle against Parkinsons and ultimately made a decision to stop her drugs and bring on the inevitable. I have no doubt the timing on her part was deliberate as my dad passed away on New Years day 7 years ago and she never really came to terms with the loss and always told me she wanted to be back with him.
If it wasn't for the excitement from my kids along with my job requiring me to work every day (well I do have Christmas day off!), I would find things a lot harder.

Sorry for a bit of a downer of a post, but if there was ever a thread for me to unload this on, it is this one

 

[ColinJ]

I'm sorry for your loss at such a time to both TVC and CJ .

Thanks Norman.

Mine would have been in 1973 when my younger brother burnt down the house the day before Christmas eve ...

Yikes - that could easily have been a family tragedy. It must have been horrible at the time, but it does sound darkly funny now!

9 or so years ago, wife's big bro died of brain tumour - only early 40's, complicated by living in Hong Kong.

Too young! The same thing happened to an aunt, my dad's kid sister, but at least she was in her early 60s when it happened. (Still too young, mind.)

I couldn't agree more. I lost my mum last year (the anniversary is Monday) and have to confess to finding it quite tough. She had fought a long battle against Parkinsons and ultimately made a decision to stop her drugs and bring on the inevitable.

Sorry to hear that 2PT - my mum had Parkinson's too. It turned out that she hadn't been swallowing properly and inhaling food had given her aspiration pneumonia.

Stopping the drugs must have been terrible. My mum got in a right state if she missed taking hers.

Bloody horrible disease! I've already decided that if ever I make a lot of money, I'm going to pump as much as I can spare into Parkinson's research.

I don't have any specific religious beliefs, but my parents did and they believed that were going to be reunited 'up there' and that is good enough for me. I like to think of them together when they were younger, before infirmity set in.

Sorry for a bit of a downer of a post, but if there was ever a thread for me to unload this on, it is this one

I hesitated about posting last night, but I realised that I'd been bottling my feelings up and wanted to do that unloading. I've been feeling less stressed today, so it has obviously helped.

Anyway ... I hope that those of you who, like me, are not going to be celebrating this Christmas can at least have a peaceful holiday. Perhaps next year will be a better one for us, eh?

 

[Night Train]

Colin, and others, this isn't Christmas related but maybe a little relevent...

Back in 1991, October 13th, my brother died in a car crash. His funeral was arranged and the date given was October 21st, my 25th birthday. I chose not to rearrange it despite protestations of concerned friends and family.

That year I didn't have a birthday, instead a whole load of people came to remember my brother and to pay their respects.

My 26th Birthday was difficult but I put in my best effort to not dwell on sadness but to join with friends in happiness and celebration.

Every birthday after that was special and celebrated as such. I used it as a time to remember my brother in happiness as that is how he would want me to be. His last resting place is visited, and mourned, on his birthday while mine is used to remember the good and the happy times of the past and to look forward to many more happy years with new friends and new family.

My thoughts are with with you.

 

[ColinJ]

Thanks NT.

It must have been terrible losing a brother like that! I think your way of dealing with your loss is very positive.

I think in future years we will feel better about Christmas but we need one quiet one this year to get over the 9 awful days we spent last year maintaining our bedside vigil.

My stepdaughter is coming up with her husband to stay with her mum (my ex) for Christmas so I'll spend some quality time with them.

My dad died on Bonfire Night nearly a decade ago and I found the first couple after that quite difficult. Since then, however, I always think nice thoughts about him whenever I hear fireworks going off!

 

[ufkacbln]

For us it is our Wedding Anniversary.

I was married on 12th June 1982 during the Falklands, and my brother's ship (HMS Glamorgan) was hit by an Exocet on the same day.

The reception and following day was spent phoning contacts to see if my brother was amongst the KSI. My Mother was worried that not being at home, she would not be contacted.

Eventually another colleague phoned me to say that whilst the Casualty Signal was still being kept confidential whilst relatives were being informed we would "not be getting any calls"

Good enough for us, but we still don't make a big thing about it.

 

[Night Train]

Thanks Colin, The first Christmas was a very sombre occasion. My best friend from college, Steve, came over to have Christmas dinner with us and part way though we just cried, hugged each other and swore to be brothers. He was an only child and now we both have a brother to bounce off.

It will get easier over time but not necessarily every time. Sometimes you just have to go with it and feel how you feel.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

'96. Mum died in December after a short illness. Buried her the day after my birthday. The Aged P, then in his mid-70's, never the most festive of chaps; bad memories from childhood haunt him "for us Christmas was a time for tears", was in bits. So was I.

He is 91 next birthday, and he's never really bounced back.

 

[coffeejo]

A friend of mine in his early twenties was killed in a car crash in December 97 and his funeral was held on Christmas Eve. The small church was packed out and most of us ended up standing in the churchyard for the service. It poured with rain and his father later wrote a poem about his son and his untimely death that included the line "and the sky cried tears for us all".

On a lighter note, though it left its own scars, when I was in my teens, we used to go to the pub for Christmas lunch but stopped after my father, an alcoholic with less than a decade left to live, stood up to toast the Queen after her speech and his trousers fell down.