Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
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swansonj
Guru
This is a frightening statistic:
75% of the jokes on this thread derive their humour from sexism or mild misogyny
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
Why did god create man first.
Because he needed a rough working model, before creating the perfect specimen of the species.
Is making jokes like that about men derogatory? Are complaints going to be made? They are jokes. are 75% of men going to complain?
Because he needed a rough working model, before creating the perfect specimen of the species.
Is making jokes like that about men derogatory? Are complaints going to be made? They are jokes. are 75% of men going to complain?
100% of men probably will agree
Moon bunny
Judging your grammar.
- Location
- Basking in my own brilliance.
How many feminists does it take to-
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
booze and cake
probably out cycling
Arsene 'the Professor' Wenger's record against Mourinho. 
And the ref for sending off the wrong player, good old comedy start to the days footy activity.
And the ref for sending off the wrong player, good old comedy start to the days footy activity.
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
What's yellow and stupid?
Thick custard.
Thick custard.
Maverick Goose
A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
- Location
- A champagne supernova in the sky
Why, I shall rite tu thi gRauniad madam!
Oh yes: Vladimir Putin is releasing a new single....it's called 'Crimea River'.
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
Why, I shall rite tu thi gRauniad madam!
Oh yes: Vladimir Putin is releasing a new single....it's called 'Crimea River'.
Hell of a Day
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink
when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next
to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says,
menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think
you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting
and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot,
I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any
insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife with another man... And then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to
put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule
in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and
then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
But, hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink
when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next
to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says,
menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think
you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting
and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot,
I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any
insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife with another man... And then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to
put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule
in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and
then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
But, hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"
A Couple from a circus go to an adoption agency, but social workers are doubtful about their accommodation.
So they produce photos of their 15 metre long caravan, the back half of which is a beautifully equipped nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that would be provided.
"We've employed an Oxford don who'll teach the child all the subjects along with Mandarin and ICT skills".
There are then doubts expressed about the child’s healthy upbringing.
"Our full time nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet", they reply.
So the social workers are finally satisfied, and ask what age of child they were looking for
"It doesn't really matter", they say, "so long as he fits in the cannon
So they produce photos of their 15 metre long caravan, the back half of which is a beautifully equipped nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that would be provided.
"We've employed an Oxford don who'll teach the child all the subjects along with Mandarin and ICT skills".
There are then doubts expressed about the child’s healthy upbringing.
"Our full time nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet", they reply.
So the social workers are finally satisfied, and ask what age of child they were looking for
"It doesn't really matter", they say, "so long as he fits in the cannon
Last edited by a moderator:
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
[QUOTE 3001288, member: 45"]Dont get it.[/QUOTE]
He means this
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLgoVesczBo
He means this
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLgoVesczBo
simon the viking
Guru
Yes Crock but what about the classic (quoted as you say from memory)
Dracula comes from Transylvania, Stevie Nicks talks about Cleptomania
Johnny looks out of his bedroom window and shouts down to his mum
F****** hell its Fred Titmuss
A true classic........
Dracula comes from Transylvania, Stevie Nicks talks about Cleptomania
Johnny looks out of his bedroom window and shouts down to his mum
F****** hell its Fred Titmuss
A true classic........
