There are an awful lot of carbon wheels out there and they look and feel beautiful. Almost works of art. I was asked by a customer to build a rear wheel.....carbon rim, decent hub, new ss black spokes all supplied by him and I built it. Looked awesome. I road tested it, felt great. I even felt faster lol. Would I like a set of carbon wheels? No. Why? I'm sorry and I know it'll upset a lot of folks on here but I don't trust carbon. I've got a carbon bike and I'm on the second frame. The first one snapped when the rear mech got caught in the wheel and broke the chainstay on the drive side. The replacement frame I managed to crack on the seat tube when I came off in a TLI bike race (fixed it DIY with a cf repair kit). When I was building that carbon wheel I had to take extra care that the tools I was using didn't damage the inside of the rim (it was a deep section rim). I just think CF isn't as robust as alloy. Just my opinion of course. I'll now put my bulletproof vest on and retire to the bunker at the bottom of the garden 😉
Choosing a bike and what it is made from is a personal journey; none is wrong, it's simply a choice based upon individual preferences.
All I would add is that not all carbon is equal.
You get different grades of steel, alloy and carbon is no different. The design, layering and choice of carbon sheets is critical to how a bike will handle, weigh etc and how strong it will be. There is no debate that carbon done properly is stronger than steel and alloy but it also has different stress points and when stressed to breaking point will break differently too.
The issue you described re your rear mech broke your chainstay could easily have cracked a steel 753P frame or alu.
As for carbon wheels, they are undeniably stronger in every way, designed to tackle the infamous cobbles of Paris-Roubaix at Pro speeds. You can run a carbon rim without tyres and not break it, as proven by GCN in one of their tests.