Come on, tell me a good..
- Thread starter yenrod
- Start date
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Mr Phoebus
New Member
A bloke goes to the doctor because he's been raped by an elephant.
The doctor says "that's strange, your ass is 11 inches wide, and an elephants cock is only 3 inches!" The bloke says "yeah I know, the bastard fingered me first!!!"
The doctor says "that's strange, your ass is 11 inches wide, and an elephants cock is only 3 inches!" The bloke says "yeah I know, the bastard fingered me first!!!"
This has been floating around but hardly described as good
Uncertainty has now hit the Japanese banking sector -
In the last week the Origami Bank has folded.
Sumo Bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song.
Today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks.
Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop.
Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Uncertainty has now hit the Japanese banking sector -
In the last week the Origami Bank has folded.
Sumo Bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song.
Today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks.
Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop.
Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother she caught him playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they're bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" says Mary's mother. "He's taken her f*****g appendix out!"
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they're bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" says Mary's mother. "He's taken her f*****g appendix out!"
Sh4rkyBloke
Jaffa Cake monster
- Location
- Manchester, UK
Got this in my email today.. made me chuckle a bit.
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a
Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a
Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
dan_bo
How much does it cost to Oldham?
Bloke goes into the doctors' with a steering wheel down his kecks.
Doctor goes 'bloody hell that looks painful'
Bloke replies 'yeah...................
it's driving me nuts!'
Doctor goes 'bloody hell that looks painful'
Bloke replies 'yeah...................
it's driving me nuts!'
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
Stephen Hawking's just been admitted to hospital with two broken legs, a dislocated shoulder, and a broken hip.
Apparently, he went out on a date last night....and she stood him up.
Apparently, he went out on a date last night....and she stood him up.
And
Fun sponge
- Location
- DE4, Derbyshire
What do you call a septic cat? - puss
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
How d'you make a dog go 'miaow'?
Tie it to your rear bumper and head off up the M1 - miaaaaoooooow!
Tie it to your rear bumper and head off up the M1 - miaaaaoooooow!
ComedyPilot
Secret Lemonade Drinker
- Location
- The Kingdom of Yorkshire
Our dog set off the burglar alarm last night, I asked Mrs CP what I should do. She told me to disable it.............so I broke it's legs with a golf club!
And
Fun sponge
- Location
- DE4, Derbyshire
What goes 'woof woof bang' - a terriorist
