More Police

[zimzum42]

Question:

How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer , and an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

Answer:

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.>

What do you do?

UK POLICE OFFICERS Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 999?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour.


If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, Do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?


If I shoot him, and lose the court case. Does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home?


AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS Answer:



BANG!



AMERICAN OFFICERS Answer:




BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click....(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

 

[xpc316e]

The point of this post is........?

 

[gavintc]

I presume this was copied from the Daily Wail. I actually like a 'relatively' gun free society.

 

[domtyler]

I'll laugh for you ZZ!

 

[Mr Pig]

He has a point. Now they are saying that the army is being too rough when they're training soldiers! People are going to die because of these namby pamby clowns.

I saw a program on the TV a few years ago about the police force. After the war a lot of cops were ex-army, hard as nails. They were interviewing one guy who was on traffic duty when two young men started being cheeky, shouting smart comments at him.

The two guys were in jeans and had long hair. The cop walked over and said "You're lucky I'd never hit a lady". The young guy said "I'm not a lady" and the cop punched him in the mouth! :0)

That's the kid of police we need, ones that demand, expect and get respect. Instead we'll soon have soldiers refuse to carry their guns because they're too heavy.

 

[yenrod]

Question:

How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer , and an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

Answer:

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.>

What do you do?

UK POLICE OFFICERS Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 999?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour.


If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, Do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?


If I shoot him, and lose the court case. Does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home?


AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS Answer:



BANG!



AMERICAN OFFICERS Answer:




BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click....(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

Actually, I do know that the Police in Liverpool take no prisoners rather than have a good discussion about any matter.

Then again, most crims. in L.pool are armed now !

 

[Keith Oates]

The Police in the UK seem to be in a no win situation whatever action they take. It must make their job very frustrating at times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mr Pig]

It must make their job very frustrating at times!

I thought about joining the pigs years ago but decided against it.

I said to the recruiting Sargent: "You know, I've got half a mind to join the police." He said: "That's all you need son, that's all you need."

 

[papercorn2000]

I was actually a cop up your way Mr. P!

Plains was one of those "Bandit Country" places!

 

[zimzum42]

The point of this post is........?

Possibly a bit difficult for some to understand, but it's a joke!!!!!!

Got it as an email forward, thought it was funny

 

[Mr Pig]

I was actually a cop up your way Mr. P! Plains was one of those "Bandit Country" places!

It still is! No, it's a lot better. Not brilliant, I stay away at the end of the village so it's very quiet.

The next village along, Caldercrux, seems quite wild, cop cars and fire engines racing up there all the time.

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Possibly a bit difficult for some to understand, but it's a joke!!!!!!

Got it as an email forward, thought it was funny

I've seen a variant of it with persona from the USA. The one who vacillates is a Democrat, and the fusillade of shots is from a southern Republican. The punch line from the little girl is, "You may have beaten me to the draw, Daddy, but my grouping was better."

 

[andyfromotley]

how to tell the difference between british and australian police?

British police will usaually be at a crime scene within 10 muinutes of the crime being committed.

Australian police will usually be on scene whilst the crime is being committed.

boom boom (i'll get my coat)

 

[bonk man]

Had nice cops.... stupid cop today, nice cops gave a cheery wave and a smile as they drove away from the demo I was taking part in.....
Stupid cop stopped and told us we had been seen stopping traffic and handing out leaflets..... we hadn't and never would as it is silly, anyway the other cops would have told us off as they were about for most of the time.
He said " I have got nothing against your protest.... but....." then told us about the dangers of stepping out into the traffic..... fortunately he failed to notice the slightly illicit and dodgy protest items in the back of my car parked about 10 yards away

 

[yenrod]

I was nearly complete on the rode this eve. and I noticed to CSO's. Female

I looked hard at them (I was trying to make out if the were real or just atificial police.): they seemed at bit emebarrassed some bloke in funny clothes was starting at them