Odd factoids

[Drago]

Roundabouts were invented by the French to confuse and thwart any German invasion.

Unfortunately the Nazzies, unsporting to the last, went round the side.

 

[Chris S]

Jacob Rees-Mogg was born aged 50 years old.

 

[Bonefish Blues]

JRM was voted the politician you'd least like to stop punching, once started.

 

[Drago]

Punching was invented by Elizabeth I and quickly became the fashionable means of greeting any passing Spaniards.

 

[Bonefish Blues]

Passing a Spaniard is a euphemism for something rather unsavoury

 

[bruce1530]

While still at University, Jacob Rees Mogg formed a boy band with fellow tories Michael Gove, Nigel Farage, David Cameron and Boris Johnson. Their band "The Tory Boys" had a number 1 hit album in the German charts with "(What's the Story?) I'm a Tory".

The band eventually split due to artistic differences and political similarities. Cameron, Gove and Johnson had constantly been fighting over who would be lead singer. Farage didn't like performing abroad, and Rees-Mogg felt that their music should include more harpsichord.

Subsequently, Rees-Mogg formed a musical duo with the old guy from Emmerdale Farm with the silly moustache. Their band "Tory Amos" was not critically rated, but achieved some commercial success due to the similarity of their names to someone with talent.

 

[Chris S]

Vladimir Pootin invented the cat litter tray.

 

[Drago]

Cat litter was originally made from real litter. However, a reduction in smoking numbers means there are no longer enough discarded fag butt's to pad out the used condoms.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

When cigarettes were first invented, smokers would ceremonially stubb out the ciggie on their arse when they finished it, which is why the end is know as a "butt".

 

[Drago]

In 1950s France peasants could work for landowners, standing on their heads all day and allowing rainwater to run from the gutters of their master's Chateau and into their bum.

This cruel practice was banned by emperor Starmer following the Welsh occupation of France in 1994, and wooden containers, or butts, were developed for the task.

Sadly, the peasants concerned were left with slack sphinters and enormous anuses, and the onky work most could find was as glove puppets at punch and Judy shows. The original Sooty and Sweep were French ex water butts.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Hitler's pet seagull, Charles, was sent on a secret mission to sh1t on the head of Winston Churchill.

Mission accomplished, Winston hated Charles de Gull for all eternity, but happily was able to buff up his bonce with a pint of champagne, so all was well in the end

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Napoleon, a pig born In Corsica, rose through the ranks to command the French Army. Marching on your stomach came about as Napoleon was rather fat and had short legs.

 

[Drago]

The Vauxhall Corsica was renamed the Corsa, as in the Swedish language corsica means, "he who fornicates with farmyard animals."

This was, however, a serious miscalculation as in Japanese the word corsa means, "let's nuke Hiroshima."

 

[bruce1530]

Corsica was so named because of the winding and undulating roads that cross it, “Corsica” being the Latin translation of “Car Sick”.

 

[PeteXXX]

The 80's top car was the Ford Pubic, so named as it was made out of old Corsairs.