PCGM? Common sense? What woud YOU do?

[PaulB]

When my two boys were little, they loved to climb and if they couldn't find anything else to climb on, they'd climb all over me. I took to calling them little monkeys and later, when my youngest son never really grew out of this habit, his nick-name became Monkey Michael. All well and good until this last fortnight.

My mate and his wife are both Nigerian and they've started to bring their two young sons around to our house. They are typical little lads and also love clombing and one of them's taken to climbing all over me. He is also called Michael but there is no way I can bring myself to use the word I used with my kids for fear of being seen as racist, which is the last thing on my mind but why should I feel inhibited from using this word? Would you? what would you do in the same circumstances? It's really starting to bother me.

 

[Mr Pig]

You're worrying too much. We used to have Nigerian friends and they called their kids a lot worse than that! Political correctness hasn't reached Nigeria yet ;0) We're talking about people who carry their newborn babies around by their ankles!

 

[zimzum42]

When my father taught in Zambia the only word that would ever cause offence was stupid, it was really tabboo. You could call someone a cheeky monkey or something with no problems at all

I reckon the parents wouldn't even think of taking offence, unless they've become seriously british-ized

 

[mr Mag00]

do monkeys climb? yes....

...then so what is the problem

 

[yorkshiregoth]

One of my colleagues once observed a group of kids climbing over the ticket barriers. He shouted after them "Stop behaving like monkeys" and they came back and beat the crap out of him and put him in hospital for 2 weeks. The police initially were going to charge him with racist abuse.

 

[Tetedelacourse]

Assuming you're not trying to just start a debate over political correctness, ask your pal what he thinks. That's what I'd do.

Mr Pig, how do you know Paul's friends carry their kids around by the ankles? Whether or not PC has reached Nigeria is beside the point. He's asking about what HE should do and AFAIK Colne is not in Nigeria.

 

[PaulB]

I'm honestly not starting this as a debate over PC, it is as innocent as posted.

My friends are Nigerian but very westernised, educated here in the UK and speak posher than wot I do.

It seems daft to say to him, "Do you mind if I say monkey where your kids are concerned?"

 

[Tetedelacourse]

It seems more daft to let it "really start to bother you".

FWIW I don't think you could be accused of racism because it's a term you use for your own son exhibiting the same behaviour, but the truth of the matter is that only they will be able to tell you whether it's likely to cause offence or not.

Also, FWIW, I don't see how "westernised and educated" and their grip of the English language has any bearing on the situation.

 

[PaulB]

Also, FWIW, I don't see how "westernised and educated" and their grip of the English language has any bearing on the situation.

It was in response to Zimzum's point above but I never wrote "westernised and educated" in the way you are taking it. I wrote "educated here in the UK" which puts a different slant on it than the one you are trying to make.

 

[Mr Phoebus]

What would YOU do?

Buy some anti-climb paint.

 

[swee'pea99]

there is no way I can bring myself to use the word I used with my kids for fear of being seen as racist [...] why should I feel inhibited from using this word? Would you? what would you do in the same circumstances? It's really starting to bother me.

Seems to me you've answered your own question. 'Why should I feel inhibited from using this word?' Answer: 'for fear of being seen as racist.'

It also seems to me that whether or not you are right to fear it is really neither here nor there. If it's bothering you, there's a simple solution: don't use it. Agonise about the whys and wherefores if that rings your bell, but as far as the practical issue goes, seems a bit obvious to me.

 

[PaulB]

[quote name='swee'pea99']Seems to me you've answered your own question. 'Why should I feel inhibited from using this word?' Answer: 'for fear of being seen as racist.'

It also seems to me that whether or not you are right to fear it is really neither here nor there. If it's bothering you, there's a simple solution: don't use it. Agonise about the whys and wherefores if that rings your bell, but as far as the practical issue goes, seems a bit obvious to me.[/quote]

Which is easy to say but when it's the most descriptive word for a clingy, climby child and you have to pretend the word doesn't exist, it's a bit trickier.

 

[swee'pea99]

you have to pretend the word doesn't exist

Do you? Seriously. What does that amount to? How do you 'pretend a word doesn't exist'? (How would anyone be able to tell?) Say: 'don't climb me, go climb a tree' or something. I've had kids climb all over me but I can't remember ever calling one a monkey. It's not difficult not to; just don't.

 

[PaulB]

[quote name='swee'pea99']Do you? Seriously. What does that amount to? How do you 'pretend a word doesn't exist'? (How would anyone be able to tell?) Say: 'don't climb me, go climb a tree' or something. I've had kids climb all over me but I can't remember ever calling one a monkey. It's not difficult not to; just don't.[/quote]

It's not the climbing I object to, which you'd know if you weren't only intent on making your point; it's the trouble I have in knowing whether the appropriate word remains appropriate in the circumstances.

 

[Tetedelacourse]

It was in response to Zimzum's point above but I never wrote "westernised and educated" in the way you are taking it. I wrote "educated here in the UK" which puts a different slant on it than the one you are trying to make.

Fair enough. I can see why that might have some bearing on whether they take offence or not.