Personal crisis ,need your help CC's

[CopperBrompton]

It does seem unfair that someone who spent all their money on wine, women and song get their care paid for by the taxpayer while those who paid for a home or saved money don't, but that's the way it is, I'm afraid.

Full-time residential care costs around £30k a year, so the money disappears very quickly.

 

[al78]

It does seem unfair that someone who spent all their money on wine, women and song get their care paid for by the taxpayer while those who paid for a home or saved money don't, but that's the way it is, I'm afraid.

Full-time residential care costs around £30k a year, so the money disappears very quickly.

No more unfair than the taxpayer having to foot the bill just so the relatives can live a life of luxury off unearned income (inheritance).

In situations like this it is the parent (or whoever) that comes first. Whilst they are alive their money should go towards them, and if the relatives don't get an inheritance because of the care fees then that is just hard luck.

 

[CopperBrompton]

The point is that person A is responsible, buys a house, saves for a rainy day, and then their money has to be spent on their care. Person B squanders all their money, and the taxpayer picks up the bill for their care.

 

[swee'pea99]

Step one: Citizens Advice Bureau. That's what they're there for, and unless you're very unlucky, they'll be good and will take you through your options clearly and sympathetically.

 

[karen.488walker]

Just going through all this with my aunt, got some great advice on here how to chose a home. Found a lovely bupa home which is nice and small.she's happy enough but it was only initially supposed to be for a week so now my task is getting her to stay. She hasn't got enough money to worry about but she has a bit. Some homes are more expensive than others and if it does look like you're going to lose the money lose it by choosing a better more expensive home?

 

[JtB]

[quote name='swee'pea99']Step one: Citizens Advice Bureau. That's what they're there for, and unless you're very unlucky, they'll be good and will take you through your options clearly and sympathetically.[/quote] Better still, contact your local Age Concern:
http://www.ageconcern.org.uk/AgeConcern/local.asp

 

[XmisterIS]

One option is to get your Dad to give the house to you now and then pay you a "peppercorn" rent for the time that he lives in it. There's a way that you can do it (a solicitor will help you) so that for each year that he lives after he's given you the house, your death duties are reduced by a factor of 1/7 of the market value of the house at the time that it was given to you.

This is what my Aunt (who is 94) did with her son and daughter-in-law. She legally owns absolutely nothing and so the state can't get their hands on anything, leaving her son with complete control of how she is cared for.

An added benefit to you, should you decide to go down that route, is that if you dad lives for 7 years, you will pay no death duties at all.

 

[ASC1951]

Can't afford Solicitors but they would only make it all official which would limit the options . Plus they are generally money grabbig wottsits looking to squeeze every available penny out of your problem without giving anything away.
Solicitors NO

Let me make sure I've got this right:-
- your father has an asset which will cover some or all of the cost of his care and will only be taken when he no longer needs it.
- you want to make all us other taxpayers cover that cost so that you and your sister can have it instead.
- solicitors are money grabbing wottsits because they won't tell you for free how to do it.

If this wasn't C+, I would say you were a greedy unprincipled toe-rag.

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Can't afford Solicitors but they would only make it all official which would limit the options

This translates as meaning, "They wouldn't get involved in any illegal or unethical options."

 

[MarkF]

Peanut, I am sorry to hear about your father.

My father developed Alzheimers, we kept him at home for as long as we could, my mother did not wnat him to go into care and as I lived nearby, we struggled on for longer than we should have. However, we had him belatedly properly
assessed and he was immediately "sectioned", and I mean immediately, he was gone in a flash. His care costs were met in full.

 

[XmisterIS]

That's an option, but if the local authority suspect that you are taking steps to avoid your father paying for his care, then they can take you to court for the money.

Whether or not they will do this is another matter.

That all depends on how much legal clout you arm yourself with in the first place.

 

[peanut]

I have just returned home with my Father so that i can monitor and care for him at home whilst trying to sort out a permanent solution .

I thank everyone for their very kind words and well wishes and advice. I shall read the thread again very carefully tomorrow.

Last week my father had his car stolen and the thief then broke into his home 3 days later and stole my Father's treasured possesions including his late Wife's wedding ring .

The shock of this episode had brought on severely increased dementia and memory loss

I would just like to say that I am deeply saddened by the ignorant and selfish hard nosed comments that some people have made.

I hope that they never have to go through the trauma that my 87 year old Father and I have had to go through this week as we both watched his memory and and mental cababilities dwindle this week and as he said goodbye to his home of 45 years tonight for the last time.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear for the those of you that unfortunately do not appear to be blessed with either intelligence or understanding.

My Father and I have no intention of requesting state care or assistence . We are only interested in preserving his estate to pay for his new home and ongoing private health care.

Should he need to go into full time nursing care eventually then I need to be sure that he will receive the best care he can afford.

I have never mentioned the word inheritence and it is the very last thing on my mind.

To suggest that I am only interested in my Fathers money is grossly offensive to me .
[

Let me make sure I've got this right:-
- your father has an asset which will cover some or all of the cost of his care and will only be taken when he no longer needs it.
- you want to make all us other taxpayers cover that cost so that you and your sister can have it instead.
- solicitors are money grabbing wottsits because they won't tell you for free how to do it.

If this wasn't C+, I would say you were a greedy unprincipled toe-rag.

 

[PK99]

I have never mentioned the word inheritence and it is the very last thing on my mind.

.
[

From your original post at the head of this thread:

I also don't want my Sisters and I to lose our inheritence.

 

[peanut]

From your original post at the head of this thread:

I have been so confused and distressed this week that I can scarely think straight .We have all had a big shock and my partner and I have had our lives turned completely upside down .This is the reason that I asked for some general advice and help from CC'ers that may have been through something similar.



Under the circumstances I didn't think that your comments and some others were particulary considerate or appropriate.

You will have to decide that for yourself .

That is all I have to say on the matter and this thread will have no further input from me.I am going to be too busy caring for my Father and trying to recover some of my life.

 

[JtB]

I was rather surprised at the callousness of a couple of the comments. Given that Mr Peanut Senior has probably worked all his life and paid his taxes / national insurance then I think its perfectly reasonable for Peanut to expect to find out about his statutory entitlements without having to pay some huge solicitor's bill. I didn't see any illegal or immoral intent implied anywhere.