The saddest saddo on the planet - EVER!

[TVC]

Thanks whoever removed the post from fisherman, shooter has a pretty good job carved out there, there is no place for a response like that.

 

[dodgy]

I remember the last car he 'detailed, that was also a VXR. Someone posted a spoof write up which completely took the piss out of his obsessive compulsive tendencies.
The thing is, this guy actually says he was having nightmares about his wheels! Sad git

Dave.

 

[cycling fisherman]

my apologies shooter, i did cross the line there... pub talk in a forum does not go, thanks for the removal

 

[Smokin Joe]

The Zymol Royale car wax this guy was using costs..................£7,118 a pot!

 

[Night Train]

The Barry boys forum did a piss taking response to this guy with extreme parka cleaning

http://www.barryboys.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=591828#591828

Now that was funny!

I can't really laugh at the VXR bloke as that is how obsessive I am about the 'feel' of the furniture I make. I was even driven to refinishing a table top as a blind woman showed me that she could feel the glue joints in the wood that everyone else had missed!

 

[ComedyPilot]

I don't know what all the fuss is about, the mucky barsteward didn't even take the wheels off to clean behind them!!!

 

[shooter560]

my apologies shooter, i did cross the line there... pub talk in a forum does not go, thanks for the removal

Hey no worries I didn't see it anyway but to be honest I also do think Mark can be a little OTT, ok not so much of the little he can get well OTT, but thats his hobby come beer money.

I have had some flak from earning what I do from cleaning cars but there is a market and if I don't fill the hole someone else will, and I like to think I have built a good reputation for what I do, without advertising. Also as I said not many people can have Ferrari's, Lambo's, Bentley's, Porsche's etc delivered to your door by a dealer and know that you have to deliver it to XYZ next week all cared for, 2 months ago I was given a F430 CS, brand new, I was asked to clean it etc, drive it round for 2 weeks, get it down to dealer for 1st service and then deliver it to Silverstone for the Owners club track day, the owner was off on holiday and didn't want to mess about driving it till the service, I did all that and was paid for my time/effort

Yep Zymol Royale is £7k a pot, though its free refills for life, so other than a large purchase price it soon becomes cheaper, to the point where it almost becomes free, in fact many who use it charge £200-300 per coat so by the time they have used 1/2 of it its all paid for and then its pure profit from there on in. The Swissvax Divine I use at £1300 is not refilled at all, when its gone I buy another, its also a lot smaller so I only get 25-30 coats before I'm out I do charge between £75 and £100 per coat but this includes the 2 hours needed to apply and remove so I actually only make pennies from this.

Add to this the fact that I co-own a handmade chocolate shop in Norwich (just ask Waffles ) and I don't think I could ask for a better job/s in life.

Anyway yes some are OTT/Sad/OCD but lets not forget that they probably think the same about some of us paying £20+ to ride 100miles on open UK roads, or riding in the rain, wearing Lycra etc, form different view points everything is either acceptable or stupid, so I say let things be and then we are not the focus of others attacks

 

[Night Train]

Are you the chap I've seen on TV who does thaty expensive but immaculate car cleaning service?

I wish clients would do that with my furniture.

 

[wafflycat]

Add to this the fact that I co-own a handmade chocolate shop in Norwich (just ask Waffles ) and I don't think I could ask for a better job/s in life.

He does. The choccies are wonderful. Particularly the tipsy tangerine and the chilli & lime in white chocolate... and his mum is lovely

Plus there is a fine line in choccie mice and choccie eggs which are purchased, ahem, by my cats and hens when MrW is requiring of a pressie from the animals

If I made more frequent visits to the shop my rear would be even bigger than it is now, and it is showing acute chauffeur's 4r$3 symptoms at the moment due to lack of time on bike and too much time driving about. I'll be glad when I have time again to be out on the bikes more!

 

[shooter560]

Are you the chap I've seen on TV who does thaty expensive but immaculate car cleaning service?

I wish clients would do that with my furniture.

Sorry that wasn't me, though we do look after the same sorts of cars/clientèle I'm just better looking and not charging quite so much as him.

Just had a look at the furniture in your link, very very impressive, I think in the new year I'll be talking to you about a few things


Cheers Waffles, and sorry that you have to keep away from the shop but I'm sure you'll be back soon

 

[Night Train]

Just had a look at the furniture in your link, very very impressive, I think in the new year I'll be talking to you about a few things

Well, thank you for the interest. I may be tempted to let you do the finishing on any items yourself, it isn't an area I enjoy as much as the making.

 

[Andy in Sig]

I had to laugh at the guy's obsessiveness but OTH you have to congratulate him on his dedication and results.

The link provided by Linf to the Barry Boy's send up was priceless though.

 

[Kirstie]

He washed it down with bottled water......

 

[mickle]

Forgive me but I just can't help wondering how long it takes the man to wipe his bottom.

Stage one: four backwards wipes using Andrex super soft with Aloe, I prefer the several folded sheets technique over the crumpled swiftly followed by a cople of forward wipes using single sheets of Johnsons Baby Wipes. I use only single sheets for a greater feel of the area being cleansed.

Stage two; I transfer to the bidet, mindful of the need to maintain a constant state of buttock separation during this procedure, cross cheek contamination at this stage would necesitate a return to stage one. Upon arrival at the bidet I activate the up-spray valve which I have had specially adapted to deliver a high pressure reciprocating misting fountain working at 35.2 litres per second at a constant temperature of 42 degrees centigrade. At temperatures lower than this the bum hole is likely to suffer from what we in the trade call 'pruning' and it is essential that this doesn't occur as it increases the depth of cranny making effective cleaning very much more difficult. The previously aforementioned high pressure reciprocating misting fountain delivers only Highland Spring into which I add my own special mix of carbon dioxide bubbles as the Highland Spring Carbonated bubbles which come from the factory simply aren't up the the job.

Stage 3: The area is air dried for twenty five minutes using my wife's hair-drier if I had a wife.

Stage 4: A series of magnifying mirrors and extremely high wattage lamps is arranged so that me and my mate Dwaine can inspect the area in minute detail. We do this for a very long time.

Stage 5: Using micro tweezers whilst looking through a powerful microscope Dwaine removes any remaining microwinnets. This stage is extremely important in the whole process, if any clingons, no matter how small, are remaining when we go into the polishing phase we are doomed to failure.

Stage 6: Using a dremel with a buffing wheel attachment set at the highest RPM I go to work applying a base coat made from the earwax of endangered lemurs. I do this for a long time.






Bugger. I need to go to the toilet again. *Sigh*

 

[hubgearfreak]

thanks mickle. beer through nostrils and on to keyboard