Elmer Fudd
Miserable Old Bar Steward
- Location
- Durham, and I am the eejit
I know it's an old un but......
In court, the lorry company's fancy hot shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.
'Didn't you say, to the Gárda at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'asked the solicitor.
Seamus responded, 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the
question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving
down the road....'
The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to
establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the
Gárda on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.
Please tell him to simply answer the question.'
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to
the solicitor, 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow,
Bessie'.
Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just
loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down
the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit
my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was
thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in
terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Gárda on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went
over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his
gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Gárda came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and
said, 'How's the form ?'
'Now, what the Feck would you say?'
