Acting on the TV.

[wobbler]

I know you have to go through years of training and fail millions of auditions. I still think I could be the solicitor in Midsomer Murders. You know, the one who never speaks, just pretends to write a few notes on a pad and occasionally looks at his poor client and shakes his head from side to side. I know I could do a better job, may be slam my pen down on the desk. Or even yeah, when Tom Barnaby is going for my clients throat and they are about to confess, I could pass them a plastic cup full of water.


So has anyone else sat in front of the TV and thought I could do better than that?

 

[Night Train]

I've done stage acting so TV acting can't be that difficult, can it?

At 14 I read the news on a school field trip to a tv studio.
12 years ago I was filmed, for a corporate video, as a housing officer responding to a phone call from an imaginary tenant. One take, no fluffed lines, no missed cues, no looking at the camera and the director was most complimentary.

I wouldn't mind being a presenter for an industrial history programme, doing the Fred Dibner (or Guy, the canal boat chap) bit of trying my hand at various industrial processes. I have the Brian Cox level of grey hair to get me started.

 

[PBancroft]

With squiffy eyes (Duane Syndrome) I doubt anyone would want to put me on TV - I'd just be referred to as "that chap with the wonky eye."

That said, I reckon I'd make a good Doctor Who. I ramble on incoherently about things which no sense to anyone but me but for some reason people seem to think I've got the answer, even when I'm just making it up as I'm going along (and invariably getting it wrong).

I don't have a silly blue box though.

 

[Kirstie]

Having been on TV a few times I definitely have a face for radio! I prefer to be on the other side of the camera.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I'd be a great extra!!

 

[MacB]

I'd make a good village idiot

 

[TheBoyBilly]

I could play darts in the Rovers Return

Bill

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I'd happily drink all the ale in the Queen Vic whilst sitting back to watch the latest tale of woe unfold

 

[brockers]

Don't know if the guy in Midsomer is an actor as I've never seen it, but if he doesn't speak then he's likely to be an extra - with a regular part. Having played the 'duty solicitor' on quite a few productions inc The Bill, 'stenders, Whitechapel, and soon to be appearing in New Tricks, (though mentioning it before transmission is usually the kiss of death in my experience...), you are required to just sit there and do basically nothing. Trying to do all that actory stuff generally leads to f*ck-ups and costs time, and hence money. And you 'pull focus' away from the main action/story. What you often don't get an idea of when the program goes out, is how many 'takes' it, err, takes to get one scene 'in the can' (they don't really say 'in the can' in telly-land). Believe me, the principal actors screw things up enough, so you as the director don't really want to complicate matters by asking the supporting artistes to 'try stretching themselves professionally'.

And having been in a couple of police-type interview situation in real life (don't ask), the duty solicitor often rocks up in his* jeans, and sits there listening quietly in the corner with half his mind on that bottle of Chateau d'Yquem he's going to pick up on his way back to the office (He probably doesn't do this.), making his portrayal on screen positively animated in comparison.

*just as likely to be a her. I know that.

 

[Smokin Joe]

I'd fancy my chances as a weather man. Just wave my arms about in the vague direction of the map, spout gibberish that tells nobody anything and smile a lot.

Yeah, I'd be a natural.

 

[numbnuts]

I've been acting all my life .....

 

[Arch]

I'd like to do costume stuff. Third plague victim from the left, that sort of thing. I'm not remotely interested in clothes generally, but I love a bit of fancy dress/period costume.

 

[wobbler]

Well if I ever make a TV programme (keep your heads down it's a flying pig) you are all going to be in it. I think people on tele look to telefied we need more natural actors, with that dragged in off the street look.
I would be unemployable even as an extra. I've got that kind of face, not so much lived in, more just had squatters evicted from it!
But you all have to promise one thing, next time you are on the TV post up here with all the details so we can have a look

 

[Speicher]

I would like to play the part of a very very young Miss Marple. I could say things that seem to have no connection with the crime, but then be proved right, because I noticed things that no one else noticed.

I could perfect a look of deep concentration, or insouciance, all the while solving the most complex crimes.



Who would like to be my nephew, who turns up at precisely the right moment with the correct information?

 

[Gerry Attrick]

I reckon I would be ace as the miserable old git sat in the corner glaring at anyone younger than me