Adoption

[nappadang]

My wife and I are in the process of adopting a daughter. We're going through introductions with a view to her joining our family full time next Thursday.
I was wondering if any othet CC members have adopted or are indeed adopted themselves. The reason I'm interested is, I'd like to hear people's views on the process or any other adoption related topic.
We adopted our son 3 years ago but the process has changed since then and in our experience, not for the better. The current govt claim they've speeded up the process but we've been delayed since well before Xmas due to a long drawn out court case.
Though our local social services consider us experienced adopters, we've not really came across many others, experienced or otherwise, I just thought it might be nice to be able to chew the fat with some adopters or adoptees with a similar interest (cycling).
I look forward to reading your posts,

MICK

 

[Cyclist33]

My wife and I are in the process of adopting a daughter. We're going through introductions with a view to her joining our family full time next Thursday.
I was wondering if any othet CC members have adopted or are indeed adopted themselves. The reason I'm interested is, I'd like to hear people's views on the process or any other adoption related topic.
We adopted our son 3 years ago but the process has changed since then and in our experience, not for the better. The current govt claim they've speeded up the process but we've been delayed since well before Xmas due to a long drawn out court case.
Though our local social services consider us experienced adopters, we've not really came across many others, experienced or otherwise, I just thought it might be nice to be able to chew the fat with some adopters or adoptees with a similar interest (cycling).
I look forward to reading your posts,

MICK

No experience of it, but fair play to you.

 

[Smurfy]

we've been delayed since well before Xmas due to a long drawn out court case.

Social services recently attempted to take the children from someone I know, and put them up for adoption. At the court case the judge slammed the social services employee for contradicting himself in his evidence. As a result adoption is now totally off the table. If things are still at the courts stage then I'm not at all surprised you are experiencing delays.

 

[nappadang]

Social services recently attempted to take the children from someone I know, and put them up for adoption. At the court case the judge slammed the social services employee for contradicting himself in his evidence. As a result adoption is now totally off the table. If things are still at the courts stage then I'm not at all surprised you are experiencing delays.

Sorry, I didn't make it clear, court case is closed now and we've been matched to adopt her. This should all have been rubber stamped I'm November but the courts dragged their heels potentially depriving us of 6 months with our new daughter.

 

[Smurfy]

Sorry, I didn't make it clear, court case is closed now and we've been matched to adopt her. This should all have been rubber stamped I'm November but the courts dragged their heels potentially depriving us of 6 months with our new daughter.

Sounds a bit odd. As far as I'm aware, social services usually meet with the judge before the hearing, and in many cases the judge is little more than a rubber stamp for the decision made by social services. However, if social services make a hash of it, as my story indicates can happen, things can slow down, or even go into reverse. It's a private court, so you won't be privy to any complications, and social services may not be able to tell you everything that is going on behind the scenes.

 

[ScotiaLass]

My wife and I are in the process of adopting a daughter. We're going through introductions with a view to her joining our family full time next Thursday.
I was wondering if any othet CC members have adopted or are indeed adopted themselves. The reason I'm interested is, I'd like to hear people's views on the process or any other adoption related topic.
We adopted our son 3 years ago but the process has changed since then and in our experience, not for the better. The current govt claim they've speeded up the process but we've been delayed since well before Xmas due to a long drawn out court case.
Though our local social services consider us experienced adopters, we've not really came across many others, experienced or otherwise, I just thought it might be nice to be able to chew the fat with some adopters or adoptees with a similar interest (cycling).
I look forward to reading your posts,

MICK

No experience here either but wanted to wish you, your wife and son, all the best for your new daughter joining you next week

 

[User10119]

Sorry, I didn't make it clear, court case is closed now and we've been matched to adopt her. This should all have been rubber stamped I'm November but the courts dragged their heels potentially depriving us of 6 months with our new daughter.

I have no direct experience myself but just wanted to say congratulations on being matched!

 

[welsh dragon]

My wife and I are in the process of adopting a daughter. We're going through introductions with a view to her joining our family full time next Thursday.
I was wondering if any othet CC members have adopted or are indeed adopted themselves. The reason I'm interested is, I'd like to hear people's views on the process or any other adoption related topic.
We adopted our son 3 years ago but the process has changed since then and in our experience, not for the better. The current govt claim they've speeded up the process but we've been delayed since well before Xmas due to a long drawn out court case.
Though our local social services consider us experienced adopters, we've not really came across many others, experienced or otherwise, I just thought it might be nice to be able to chew the fat with some adopters or adoptees with a similar interest (cycling).
I look forward to reading your posts,

MICK

I don't have any experience, but I wish you all the best of luck. i do hope the adoption goes through, and you and your daughter and son have a grest life. I'll be thinking of you all.

 

[nappadang]

Sounds a bit odd. As far as I'm aware, social services usually meet with the judge before the hearing, and in many cases the judge is little more than a rubber stamp for the decision made by social services. However, if social services make a hash of it, as my story indicates can happen, things can slow down, or even go into reverse. It's a private court, so you won't be privy to any complications, and social services may not be able to tell you everything that is going on behind the scenes.

I think you are thinking about the the actual adoption, that is generally (not always) a formality. The process of permanence is a protracted (very in this case) court case involving Barristers for both birth family and local authority.
The new (improved?) system meant we were matched before court case was complete. New loopholes have meant it has dragged on for what seems like an eternity.

 

[nappadang]

I don't have any experience, but I wish you all the best of luck. i do hope the adoption goes through, and you and your daughter and son have a grest life. I'll be thinking of you all.

I can always rely on you for support and kind words WD, thanks!!!!

 

[Smurfy]

I think you are thinking about the the actual adoption, that is generally (not always) a formality.

No, I'm talking about what you refer to as permanence (birth family vs social services). In the case I previously described, social services effectively lost the case they put before the court. Maybe this was a rare occurence, but it seems foolish to match children with adoptive parents before the court has ruled, even if social services are expecting to get rubber stamped in the majority of cases.

Apologies if you find my account unsettling to your own situation. I'm just presenting the view from the other side, which isn't often heard, due to privacy issues, reporting restrictions, because the majority of parents do not experience it, and social services don't want a light shone into what can be a murky area of justice that is sometimes likened to a kangaroo court. Feel free to tell me to get lost if you don't like what I'm saying and/or think it's unhelpful.

 

[Dave 123]

Again, no experience but I think it's great that you're doing this.

We were once on Studland beach and Mrs Dave got talking to a couple with a baby of crawling age who they'd just adopted that afternoon. It was really sweet to see such attentive, nervous and inexperienced adults besotted with the little girl.

 

[Wafer]

A couple I know are just in the process of adopting. They decided to go for adoption after she had to have a hysterectomy over a year ago. Can't remember when they started the process but it must've been about this time last year. I think officially they are fostering a baby now with a view to adopting it once all the court stuff is sorted out, but it's been a long process for them to get to this stage.
Does sound like other couples would be put off by the process.

 

[Katherine]

Congratulations, I bet you can't wait for next Thursday. Wishing joy to you all.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

I think you are thinking...

That would be a first for him, I suppose.

Best of luck with it.