Afterthoughts...

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Arch

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
You know how you never think quickly enough?

Riding home from BikePete and Gromit's last night, back from a weekend in Leicester, I took the riverside path. Coming towards me were 4 chavs, in couples, one couple walking one behind the other (him behind with hands round her waist, aw, how cute). As I got level, this cutie decided to scream suddenly in my ear to make me jump. I carried on, without looking back, but with a finger raised in salute in case they happened to look.

Several hundred yards down the path, I'd worked out what I should have done.

Turned round, stopped, got D-lock out of pannier, held it by the loop end, ridden back past them from behind, as fast as I could, and smacked him on the back of the head with the shackle end. With a bit of luck, not only would he have been severely whacked, but if his head got pushed forward he might have managed to sink his teeth into his lovely girlfriend's head too.

Am I feeling a bit too militant just now?;)
 
HF2300

HF2300

Insanity Prawn Boy
Should've jumped so much you 'accidentally' knocked him into the river.
 
G

Greenbank

Über Member
On an Audax last year (Severn Across) I was about 100m behind another rider coming up into Malmesbury. Some yoof at the side of the road waited for him to get level and did the old lurch-towards-and-go-RAAAAAAARGH gag. Very amusing.

They were still giggling to themselves when I came up behind them and did the same back to them. I honestly thought he'd soiled himself given his reaction and left them with his friends taking the piss out of him.
 
OP
OP
Arch

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
Greenbank said:
On an Audax last year (Severn Across) I was about 100m behind another rider coming up into Malmesbury. Some yoof at the side of the road waited for him to get level and did the old lurch-towards-and-go-RAAAAAAARGH gag. Very amusing.

They were still giggling to themselves when I came up behind them and did the same back to them. I honestly thought he'd soiled himself given his reaction and left them with his friends taking the piss out of him.
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Excellent!;)

Dayvo, if I have to go on the run and find myself in Norway, I'll look you up....
 
purplepolly

purplepolly

New Member
Location
my house
Arch said:
Am I feeling a bit too militant just now?;)
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No, although an airzound might be more legal. To be on the safe side, always let it off as you're passing yoofs and chavs so that they don't get a chance to shout at you first.
 
ianrauk

ianrauk

Tattooed Beat Messiah
Location
Rides Ti2
Justifiable in these circumstances imo :smile:

Arch said:
Am I feeling a bit too militant just now?;)
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OP
OP
Arch

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
bonj said:
would have easily killed him stone dead.
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Which would have been a human evolutionary advantage....

Thinking about it, a slap with an outstretched hand would have got the point across. Or one of those comedy inflatable hammers. But might take a while to set up, and the moment would be gone.

I wouldn't really. I'm too chicken, and too afraid that I'd manage to fall off in the process.

Airzound is a good compromise.....
 
JamesM

JamesM

Senior Member
Location
West Yorks
I had a very similar experience yesterday just it was someone sneezing not someone shouting and I thought, "should have said bless you instead of evening" rather than "should have murdered him and injured his beloved" so not so similar realy.

In chavs shouting scenarios I usually go for a deadpan monotone faux "aaaaagh".
 
OP
OP
Arch

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
Uncle Phil said:
Clicky.

Extreme violence isn't required. Merely proportionate revenge, delivered unexpectedly.
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Excellent....:biggrin:

Extreme violence could be fun though....:tongue:

It's a pity it was a nice day. If it had been wet, I could maybe have contrived to ride through a puddle at them - they were all dressed in pristine white tracksuits and trainers...
 
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