Am I the kiss of doom?

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Arch, 18 Jul 2007.

  1. Arch

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Salford, UK
    I'm starting to worry...

    So far this year, I've lost my partner, and I find out now that his Mum is facing organising the funeral of her Mum, who is 91, poorly and not expected to last long. One of my colleagues and close friends is currently facing up to her Dad having a terminal brain tumor. On a less serious, but still a bit alarming scale, last week on the way back from Winchester I was aware of a young lady at the station who seemed to be distressed about missing someone who was waiting at some other station (staff were helping her - couldn't quite tell if she was foreign and having trouble with the language, or had some other communication problem). Then sitting on the train at Sheffield station, I saw a lady sitting on a bench, with suitcase, sobbing. Couldn't very well get off, and all around her seemed to be ignoring her studiously. Felt bad - especially as the train then sat there for at least 5 minutes, so I found myself trying to ignore her too and worrying about what was wrong. :laugh:

    And yesterday, queueing for my lunch, the elderly lady in front passed out. Went down like a domino, straight over backwards, knees didn't even buckle, hit her head on the floor when she landed. She was OK, apparently, after a while, lots of staff to help her, but it shook everyone up. :eek:

    I know, once you see things like this, you start to see more, and it gets to look like a pattern, so I'm not really worried. But I do think this is becoming an annus horribilis... :tongue:

    On the plus side, when I missed three calls from my sister yesterday, while riding, it wasn't to say the baby was early, but that she was in Primark, and did I want anymore cheap tee-shirts... :blush:

    Just waffling really, it's good to talk...
  2. sheddy

    sheddy Guru

    can't offer any sensible advice I'm afraid but - always expect the unexpected
  3. ...nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles...

    Not much comfort arch but I sympathise. Sometimes things can be 'added together' in the most awkward of ways.

    "Somewhere else"(BR) yesterday, jibi / George wrote about golf balls in a jar et etc - that was a nice thing that made me reflect on life, the Universe and everything apart from elephants (as they get far too much cyberspace already).

    We don't want a collapsed arch - so here's a support post for you. :tongue:
  4. Tim Bennet.

    Tim Bennet. Entirely Average Member

    S of Kendal
    I occasionally wonder about this as well. Obviously, not about whether you specifically are the kiss of death, but more in general terms.

    I guess it's partly a function of getting older. We not only have simply had longer to bear witness to these things but slowly, like us, our peers do get older and eventually are more inclined to die than marry, for instance. And obviously as a girly you are probably more sensitive to some of the situations you mention, whereas all the blokes on the train are saying 'what crying?'

    But having said that it must be awful to be say, Patrick's age, and I for one are not looking forward to that eventuality. (next year)
  5. ChrisKH

    ChrisKH Veteran

    Maybe you've reached that stage in your life Arch where the generation in front are all in the final furlong, so to speak. Your Nan sounds like she's had a good innings to be honest (but I hope she goes on much longer btw) and if your Mum's still alive that's a good thing. I'm sure there are other posters on here who are further down the line than either of us who can speak from experience.

    Personally, my Mum's dead (at 65, 3 years ago) and Dad's effectively dead in a home with a degenerative brain disease (72) and they have eleven siblings between them who will shuttle off this mortal coil in due course. You can but steel yourself sometimes and death, after all, is part of life. Also, it sometimes takes the loss of someone close to make you realise you are yourself mortal and your time is limited. It does make you acutely aware of that side of things.

    On the positive side, I always tell myself how lucky I am with the friends and family I have left and live every day as if it were my last. Or at least I try.

    I hope things get better for you (Primark T-shirts aside).
  6. OP

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Salford, UK
    Yeah, I know we tend to see patterns in things, when really, they just happen in clumps and that's how it is. Also, we tend to remember the negative - like bad weather.

    I'm lucky really. Loving family, as many friends as I need, live within my means, good health.

    Also, I've started knitting teddies for the third world (to be sent to children in war/disaster areas, knitted up out of leftover wool), although so far, I've given one to my Mum, and one to my sister, so the poor third world kids haven't had a look in. And the latest one is so cute, I can't bear to part with her... You're never alone with a knitted bear.

    BTW Chris, not my Nan - mine died some time ago, but she was 96, so like you say, good innings...
  7. Even when things appear to be really black, the good stuff is there too - sometimes you just have to look harder to find it. Everything happens for a reason, and it's usually to teach us something, IMO you don't get much better than that.
  8. Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    Big Hugs Arch.

    Sorry to hear things are not at their best right now. However, I think everybody goes through such a patch
    We had a 2 year period it was real misery. You tend to get low and end-up like a boxer on the ropes, each day another bit of bad news, another bit of sadness witnessed another punch and another and you wonder where it will end. It can be difficult to put things into perspective.
    Everyday kinda stuff starts to have a greater impact than it should

    Though I only "know" you from your writings here I can tell that you are a very caring, compassionate and helpful soul who has many friends. Let them bring comfort, cake and cheap T-shirts.
    Life has it's challenges, there's no doubt... but it also has moments of the purest joy as well.

    Times like this teach us to appreciate all the good things in our lives that make us strong enough to deal with the bad. I hope things start to look rosier for you and those around you very soon.
    Keep your face to the sunshine :tongue:
  9. OP

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Salford, UK
    Yeah, that's exactly it. Last week my friend had to go to her parents because in one week there was a plague of flies in one room (something died in the chimney), two slates off the roof, the diswasher clogged up and the oven blew a fuse - on top of her Dad being ill. Each thing would be a nuisnce, but coming together like that, it must seem like endless misery.

    Cheers! :tongue:

    What sunshine?! As I type, another Noah type cloud is coming over the office and we've all had to put lights on! :?:
  10. frog

    frog Guest

    Having been involved in 23 deaths, in a variety of capacities, over a period of 6 months my heart goes out to you Arch. It's so very easy to see yourself as a 'bringer of doom' as one event piles up onto the previous one and it does effect the way you deal with people on all levels. The good thing is it don't last. Circumstances change and things even out.

    Very big virtual hug, piece of chocolate cake and box of kleenex :tongue:
  11. postman

    postman Legendary Member

    Meanwood ,Leeds
    kiss of doom

    Arch,Just to cheer you up.Ihave not been well of late. So my mate came round to pray for me.While praying i asked .Did Bernard Manning go to heaven.Good news and bad news bob he said.Go on then good news first. Bernard did go to Heaven He repented of all his jokes,in his dying breath.THe bad news is your going to see him live on Sunday.
  12. May I have a bear please Arch? Please? Perleeeeze!?

    Fancy a curry next week?
  13. vbc

    vbc Guest

    Arch, yes things can get a bit overwhelming. My younger sister lost her husband to liver cancer last year, father in law died about a month before, my wife was ill the year before and needed two operations and I had a cycle accident in May this year resulting in almost two months in hospital. Seeing other patients with with far more serious injuries puts things in perspective though.

    On a good note, my dad is also 91 but apart from poor eye sight, is as fit as a fiddle.

    Chin up eh?

    All the best,
  14. Tony

    Tony New Member

    Well, here's some more hugs and snuggles for you.
    Where I am, it's even wetter than last time we met, so it feels sort of the same...
  15. OP

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Salford, UK
    Re: Bear. Of course. I was wondering what to knit next. Any particular colours? Gentleman Bear or Lady Bear?

    Re: Curry, yeah, good idea, I think my liver's just about recovered from last time... We can arrange by email...

    Everyone else, thanks for the kind words. Jeez, some of you have been through it a bit haven't you. I guess we all come through in the end.
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