An intruder in my house

[Speicher]

Earlier this week I went out for the evening.

When I returned home, there was an intruder on the stairs. Obviously he was not expecting me and he was so surprised he just stood still.

I shouted at him to move, but he didn't. He remained silent, too shocked to move. I was shocked, but what was he doing in my house.

As he stayed on the stairs, above me, I noticed his long gangly legs. He looked at me menacingly. I told him that if he thought that just by staying there, he could frighten me, he was wrong. I had dealt with bigger and uglier intruders than him. I asked him if he thought he was being big and brave - I would show him who is braver.

I did not want to involve my neighbours in dealing with him, and the police have much better things to do.

Then I shouted at him "I will throw you out". He then tried to back up the stairs away from me. There was a bit of a scuffle as he tried to escape.
I grabbed hold of him roughly, manhandled him down the stairs, and threw him out.













I just hope he did not break one of his eight legs when he landed on the grass.

 

[Maz]

You had me going there, mate. Nice one.

 

[Melvil]

I only hope he was a common Nid as opposed to the fundamentalist middle-eastern terrorist 'Arach' versions. Then you could've been in trouble.

 

[numbnuts]

As it’s been so hot I leave all my windows open, a couple of days ago I got up to make a cup of tea (4am) and sat drinking it in the lounge out of the corner of my eye I saw something move, at first thought is was a mouse, but it was a bat, so I left the room and closed the door it had gone in the morning

 

[Aperitif]

I only hope he was a common Nid as opposed to the fundamentalist middle-eastern terrorist 'Arach' versions. Then you could've been in trouble.

you...mean... the dreaded 'Elephant Spider'..<tremble>?

 

[Speicher]

He could have been an elephant spider. It is no exageration that he was three inches wide.

 

[andy_wrx]

I thought you girls are supposed to say say size doesn't matter ?

 

[peanut]

jeesus the cat just brushed against mt bare leg as I read that and I shouted and jumped out of my skin. I'm going to have peel the cat off the ceiling !

I hate them. I have sealed up every crack and orifice in the house and sealed every window with tape. Siliconed every hole and crack I can find.Inside and out

Not seen anything over 1/2" sized in years

 

[Fnaar]

did it come intruder window? in-tru-der window? geddit? in-tru- oh, never mind!

 

[Maz]

did it come intruder window? in-tru-der window? geddit? in-tru- oh, never mind!

No, it was downloaded from the Web.

 

[ColinJ]

I'm not normally frightened of spiders but...

A few years back I was woken up by a strange sound in my bedroom. I sat bolt upright in bed and it felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest - what the hell was making that noise? I switched the light on and saw the biggest, hairiest spider ever walking across a newspaper that I'd left on the floor. Instant arachnophobia !

It was like this...

Only 5 times the size !!!

I went to get a jar to capture it, but when I got back it had disappeared. Yikes! No way could I get back to sleep with that monster crawling about. I mean, it was that big that the sound of its footsteps could wake me from a deep sleep. I spent 30 minutes hunting for it and finally tracked it down to its lair behind a pile of old Cycling Weeklies. After I'd chucked it out, I lay awake for hours wondering whether it lived alone...

Oh crikey - I wish I hadn't started searching for spider pictures now. I've just found something really scary - it's a series of pictures showing what happened to a human thumb after a spider bite. *** Don't follow this link if you are squeamish ***

 

[fossyant]

I've seen that link before - glad I live in the UK ! Nothing too poisonous here !

 

[Gerry Attrick]

Sorry Speicher, I've had to report you to the brave boys in blue. They will probably be knocking at your door right now with a helicopter overhead and an armed response unit round the corner. This sort of reaction to an innocent creature about its business cannot be allowed to go unchallenged.

(By the way, can I have your bikes while you're being entertained by HM?)

 

[yenrod]

You had me going there, mate. Nice one.

Me too !

I'm not normally frightened of spiders but...

A few years back I was woken up by a strange sound in my bedroom. I sat bolt upright in bed and it felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest - what the hell was making that noise? I switched the light on and saw the biggest, hairiest spider ever walking across a newspaper that I'd left on the floor. Instant arachnophobia !

It was like this...

Only 5 times the size !!!

I went to get a jar to capture it, but when I got back it had disappeared. Yikes! No way could I get back to sleep with that monster crawling about. I mean, it was that big that the sound of its footsteps could wake me from a deep sleep. I spent 30 minutes hunting for it and finally tracked it down to its lair behind a pile of old Cycling Weeklies. After I'd chucked it out, I lay awake for hours wondering whether it lived alone...

Oh crikey - I wish I hadn't started searching for spider pictures now. I've just found something really scary - it's a series of pictures showing what happened to a human thumb after a spider bite. *** Don't follow this link if you are squeamish ! ***

We didnt want to know about your personal life

I've seen that link before - glad I live in the UK ! Nothing too poisonous here !

I once had a descendant of a black widow in the corner of a window.

They do abound in this country.

 

[Night Train]

Awwww, sweet ickle spidy!