I had a great ride over to a friends tonight. I took the high road and had a really good view of all the whizzbangs and fires. I got bought a pint from someone I haven't seen in ages

and then I nearly get a free trip to A+E.
Some numpty is setting off his poxy 20 quid box of damp squibs outside my friends house. Lord knows what he did but a dozen rocket types were being launched horizontally and one hit the garage door as I'm trying to put my keys in the door

. Cue swearing.
I don't think I'd be much good under fire.