I always fall back on Tim Minchin's beat poem "Storm":-
And try as I like, a small crack appears in my diplomacy-dike.
"By definition, " I begin,
"Alternative medicine, " I continue,
"Has either not been proved to work, or been proved not to work.
Do you know what they call
Alternative medicine that's been proved to work?
Medicine."
"So you don't believe in any natural remedies?"
"On the contrary Storm, actually
Before we came to tea,
I took a natural remedy derived from the bark of a willow tree
A painkiller that's virtually side-effect free
It's got a weird name, darling, what was it again?
M-masprin? Basprin? Oh yeah! Asprin!
Which I paid about a buck for down at the local drugstore.