Assaulted by an ice-cream seller!

Discussion in 'Commuting' started by Globalti, 10 May 2010.

  1. Globalti

    Globalti Legendary Member

    Since everybody who commutes seems to have had a nasty incident I'll tell you about mine!

    It was back in 1972 and I was a long-haired spotty yoof at Gosforth High School on the A1 just outside Newcastle upon Tyne. I used to cycle the 5 miles to school and in the afternoons I would collect my 10 speed from the bike shed, ride down the long drive to the A1, cross the dual-carriageway and join wor lass Gillian outside the greyhound stadium opposite. Then we would walk hand in hand back to hers where I would cop a quick snog on her doorstep before wobbling off home on the bike (ever tried riding a bike with an erection?)

    Anyway there was this Mr Tony ice cream van that used to park outside the school and one day I was waiting patiently to cross the stream of traffic going north when Mr Tony put his front bumper against my rear wheel and shoved me out into the road. Naturally I turned round to say "what the hell are you doing?" Thought no more of it, got across the road, joined Gill and her pal and set off walking, pushing the bike with my right hand. Suddenly Mr Tony screeched across the road, bounced up the pavement and out jumped a short swarthy chappie who ran up to me and said: "Eh, my-a mate, he a-tell-a me you tell me to f*ck off!" I opened my mouth to deny this and BANG, a clenched fist hit me in the teeth. Mr Tony raced off leaving me spitting out teeth and rather shocked. The girls got his reg, we all gave statements and he was arrested. To cut short a long story he got off scott free because he was "a man of straw" in the words of the Police. I expect they thought I really did provoke the bloke. They did tell me he had to have 7 stitches to the back of his hand though.

    Many hours of dental treatment ensued leaving me with crowns, bridge, you name it. I went before the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board, three old duffers who looked at my teeth and awarded me £290.00, which was quite a lot at that time. Naturally rather than invest it wisely I spent the lot on Who records, posters, concert tickets, joss sticks and all kinds of other rubbish. Ah well.
  2. Molecule Man

    Molecule Man Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear that you have to go back to 1972 for an incident as serious as that!
    I hope the intervening years have been more peaceful for you.
  3. Mark_Robson

    Mark_Robson Senior Member

    You obviously got him "whipped" into a frenzy, I would have gave him a 99 fine, The guy was obviously a flake.
  4. OP

    Globalti Legendary Member

    More peaceful? Not in the trouser department they haven't.
  5. Sh4rkyBloke

    Sh4rkyBloke Jaffa Cake monster

    Manchester, UK
    £290 was a fair bit of lolly back in those days. So he assaulted you, and then (Strawberry) split before you could do anything? Bugger!
  6. downfader

    downfader extimus uero philosophus

    Reminds me of something similar my Cousin told me. He was about 16 in the mid 80s and was waiting at a bus stop for the proverbial and this older skinhead walked up, yelled something about "I f***in hate you punk kids!" and smashed a fist into his eye and jaw before throwing a handful of copper coins on the deck and just walking off. :biggrin:

    There are some nice people about in life aint there.
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