Astana noses

[Spinney]

Why do many of the Astana riders seem to be wearing plasters on their noses?

 

[redddraggon]

For better breathing, keeps the nose more open.

 

[Spinney]

Like those anti-snoring things?

I would have thought the extra you could get through the nose with those things on would be pretty small compared to breathing through the mouth.

 

[redddraggon]

Like those anti-snoring things?

I would have thought the extra you could get through the nose with those things on would be pretty small compared to breathing through the mouth.

Every little helps.

The mouth won't always be available for breathing too remember, I find it hard to eat and drink on the bike when I'm breathing heavily and a nose thing would help alleviate that (but I don't bother)

 

[Chuffy]

It's an aero thing. Most of the Astana team come from a very small village in Afganrugistan. Consequently they are horribly inbred, with strange lumpy faces and huge tufts of nasal hair on the outside. Obviously these nasal hair tufts attract flies as well as offering rivals an ideal opportunity for 'punishment tugs' which are very painful and can result in a rider losing almost his entire face. To get round this the entire team had their tufts shaved off. The sticky plaster strip covers the scar tissue. In fact, such is the loyalty to the team that when Andreas Kloden rode for them, despite not being an Afganrugistan native (and lacking the external nose tuft) he had a tuft specially grafted on before having it ceremonially removed with a mixture of Veet, foot powder and goat dung. During the 2009 Tour Johan Bruyneel had a secret cache of these nose tufts with which he planned to work wicked voodoo on Alberto Contador but Bertie defeated his evil wizardry by riding really fast. Apparently half the field still fear that Bruyneel can turn them into goat zombies, which is why they are all riding away from Scary Scarecrow Lance really, really quickly.

 

[Davidc]

Rugby players wear them as well, for extra air.

 

[Chuffy]

Rugby players wear them as well, for extra air.

No, they wear them so that they can play shower japes, ripping off each others nose plasters and whipping each other with the ends.

 

[Spinney]

Why just Astana though? Or have I just not noticed on other teams?

(I think on balance that Chuffy may be pulling my leg...)

 

[Chuffy]

Why just Astana though? Or have I just not noticed on other teams?

(I think on balance that Chuffy may be pulling my leg...)

I'm certainly not pulling any other part of you!

But Kloden does wear one. Perhaps the Astana team wear them in case Bertie's drops off and they need to give him a spare?

 

[aJohnson]

You talkin bout those Breathe Right External Nasal Dilators?

 

[aJohnson]

Every little helps.

The mouth won't always be available for breathing too remember, I find it hard to eat and drink on the bike when I'm breathing heavily and a nose thing would help alleviate that (but I don't bother)

"The science bit...
For example, the effects of the Nasal Dilator were tested on five cyclists during high-intensity exercise by researchers at Illinois State University.

The athletes first cycled without anything on their noses, next with the Nasal Dilator in place, and on a third occasion with only a flesh-coloured piece of tape, applied while the subjects' eyes were closed to ensure they did not know what was attached to their noses.

Research conclusion
The Dilators were found to not actually pull more air into the lungs at all, with a trend for the cyclists to ventilate better with nothing on their noses. In addition, the number of breaths taken per minute and the actual oxygen usage were totally equivalent between all three conditions.

The Breathe-Right proponents still argue that because it makes you feel better about your breathing it is still worth using, even though it might not have any direct physiological effects. The bad news is, the Illinois Scientists checked that possibility as well by asking the athletes how they felt while exercising."

From: http://www.thefitmap.com/mens_health/features/nose_strips.htm

 

[mangaman]

It's an aero thing. Most of the Astana team come from a very small village in Afganrugistan. Consequently they are horribly inbred, with strange lumpy faces and huge tufts of nasal hair on the outside. Obviously these nasal hair tufts attract flies as well as offering rivals an ideal opportunity for 'punishment tugs' which are very painful and can result in a rider losing almost his entire face. To get round this the entire team had their tufts shaved off. The sticky plaster strip covers the scar tissue. In fact, such is the loyalty to the team that when Andreas Kloden rode for them, despite not being an Afganrugistan native (and lacking the external nose tuft) he had a tuft specially grafted on before having it ceremonially removed with a mixture of Veet, foot powder and goat dung. During the 2009 Tour Johan Bruyneel had a secret cache of these nose tufts with which he planned to work wicked voodoo on Alberto Contador but Bertie defeated his evil wizardry by riding really fast. Apparently half the field still fear that Bruyneel can turn them into goat zombies, which is why they are all riding away from Scary Scarecrow Lance really, really quickly.

This is all 100% true - my family on my mother's side have Azerbaijan blood.

Everything Chuffy says on this is correct, I believe - the goat zombies thing is definitely true. I've heard that from a mate who'se an insider in the peleton.

 

[Globalti]

Nose plaster:

Equals voodoo fetish:

No difference.

 

[dodgy]

Astana wears them because they're paid to, I believe they call it 'sponsorship'.

 

[Tim Bennet.]

Astana wears them because they're paid to, I believe they call it 'sponsorship'.

Exactly!