Awfully clever puns!

[Maz]

Not quite a pun, but a spoonerism of sorts...I saw a sign outside a wine shop in Cambridge:
" I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

 

[swee'pea99]

Friend of mine was packing up their tent with the friend who'd shared their Greek island holiday, and it was all getting a bit of a mess. He swears that it just suddenly jumped into his head: " I suppose this must be the last tangle on Paros."

 

[TVC]

As a child I was mad about motorised farm machinery, not any more though, I guess I'm an ex-tractor fan.

 

[ASC1951]

Not quite a pun, but a spoonerism of sorts...I saw a sign outside a wine shop in Cambridge:
" I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

W C Fields, I believe.

 

[Cyclist33]

I like puns as much as I like retired American tennis players first shots in a match... one might say I'm a Connors serve of puns. (Bit of a stretch) Not my own work that one, but that of Andy Zaltzman, and below are several more... enjoy.


View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b0MewQeNjQ

Awful and not very clever or funny.

 

[Cyclist33]

One of my recent "successes" was to my sister who told me she'd missed her train to Manchester (to get the documents for her flight to China). I replied by text: "Vis a vis a visa?"

 

[Cyclist33]

But my favourite of all time (and if I ever get close...) came from my dad some years ago, chatting to a French plumber my mum had just engaged when we had our house near Bergerac in the Dordogne valley. When my dad asked him his name, he told us - it was Serge Arnaud; to which my dad (who's only passable at French) immediately replied "Ah... Serge Arnaud de Bergerac!" and the business relationship was sealed.

 

[JayBear]

Awful and not very clever or funny.

You, like everyone else are fully entitled to hold a wrong opinion.

 

[yello]

My father used to say he wanted to meet an Indian girl with no reservations.

 

[Archie_tect]

Throughout my conscious years my dad, when asked, "Are you alright?" has replied, "Yes but just down one side". I have been close to manslaughter due to diminished responsibility many, many times...

 

[Archie_tect]

Speicher's been surprisingly quiet....

 

[PK99]

Three Irish brothers ran a tree surgery business: "The tree fellers"

 

[gavintc]

there are a couple of pubs called The Fawcett Inn, which is an equally bad pun.

One of the closest pubs to where we live:

http://goo.gl/maps/GH4xI

 

[mark st1]

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow at tooth hurty

 

[Speicher]

Speicher's been surprisingly quiet....