baby shifting suggestions...

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
Right, well, my first neice-phew (don't know which it'll be) is due today. No sign of it yet, and my sister is getting really bored... Not to mention, I'm on tenterhooks!

I'm sure you lot will be able to come up with some really helpful suggestions for encouraging the little blighter along.;)

Over to you...
 

domtyler

Über Member
You have to get her to walk up and down the stairs like a crab, i.e. sideways.
Failing that there is always the Syntocin.
 
Well apparently, there are a few options:
raspberry leaf tea
pineapple juice
curry
a bumpy car ride
sex (semen apparently can kick off labour)
forgetting about it completely and going and doing something nice, like going to the cinema or out for a meal, ie using sods law to get things going...

Like I'd know...
 

marinyork

Resting in suspended Animation
Location
Logopolis
Get the staff at the hospital to say it's not on the way and that you'll have to be sent home soon. The baby should then come out pretty soon. This is what happened to someone I know in Kent (although with the maternity cuts going on I've heard of similar stories and it's certainly not amusing at all).
 
OP
Arch

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
I should perhaps add, it's a home birth...

Working on Sod's Law, I guess putting a puncture in the birthing pool might do it - Brother-out-law frantically searching out a puncture repair kit, waiting for the adhesive to dry to tacky, grating the french chalk on....

Good ideas, keep 'em coming..

I'll send her a link... That alone should get things going!;)
 

marinyork

Resting in suspended Animation
Location
Logopolis
Damage of the birth pool is not even necessary. Simply get the baby elephant to start drinking the water out of it.
 
OP
Arch

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
marinyork said:
Damage of the birth pool is not even necessary. Simply get the baby elephant to start drinking the water out of it.
;):biggrin::biggrin:
 

Pete

Guest
Aha! I take it this is same brother-out-law with the astronomy fetish and telescope on the way. Obvious solution then. Wait for the next clear, starry night, perfect seeing, not a cloud in sight. Now: it takes a good half hour or more to set up a telescope properly, depending on the type of mount. So he lumps the whole works down to bottom of garden, sets up the mount, aligns everything properly, gets a good focus, settles down for a relaxing night's observing...

That's the precise moment at which your sis will yell from the house "It's starting, pet!"
 
I also found looking up the, err, blocked orifice, and shouting 'Get out, you lazy little bastard!' worked wonders at the maternity ward until they realized I wasn't even a member of staff let alone a midwife.
 
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