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baby shifting suggestions...

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Arch, 2 Aug 2007.

  1. Arch

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Location:
    York, UK
    Right, well, my first neice-phew (don't know which it'll be) is due today. No sign of it yet, and my sister is getting really bored... Not to mention, I'm on tenterhooks!

    I'm sure you lot will be able to come up with some really helpful suggestions for encouraging the little blighter along.;)

    Over to you...
     
  2. domtyler

    domtyler Über Member

    You have to get her to walk up and down the stairs like a crab, i.e. sideways.
    Failing that there is always the Syntocin.
     
  3. Well apparently, there are a few options:
    raspberry leaf tea
    pineapple juice
    curry
    a bumpy car ride
    sex (semen apparently can kick off labour)
    forgetting about it completely and going and doing something nice, like going to the cinema or out for a meal, ie using sods law to get things going...

    Like I'd know...
     
  4. marinyork

    marinyork Resting in suspended Animation

    Location:
    Logopolis
    Get the staff at the hospital to say it's not on the way and that you'll have to be sent home soon. The baby should then come out pretty soon. This is what happened to someone I know in Kent (although with the maternity cuts going on I've heard of similar stories and it's certainly not amusing at all).
     
  5. Arch

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Location:
    York, UK
    I should perhaps add, it's a home birth...

    Working on Sod's Law, I guess putting a puncture in the birthing pool might do it - Brother-out-law frantically searching out a puncture repair kit, waiting for the adhesive to dry to tacky, grating the french chalk on....

    Good ideas, keep 'em coming..

    I'll send her a link... That alone should get things going!;)
     
  6. chris42

    chris42 New Member

    Location:
    Deal, Kent
    raspberry leaf tea My wife said this worked for both of ours
     
  7. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Staff Member

    once things start, don't let her have a warm bath, or it'll be out in minutes (i know, it happened to mrs alecetc last time round).
     
  8. marinyork

    marinyork Resting in suspended Animation

    Location:
    Logopolis
    Damage of the birth pool is not even necessary. Simply get the baby elephant to start drinking the water out of it.
     
  9. Arch

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Location:
    York, UK
    ;):biggrin::biggrin:
     
  10. Pete

    Pete Guest

    Aha! I take it this is same brother-out-law with the astronomy fetish and telescope on the way. Obvious solution then. Wait for the next clear, starry night, perfect seeing, not a cloud in sight. Now: it takes a good half hour or more to set up a telescope properly, depending on the type of mount. So he lumps the whole works down to bottom of garden, sets up the mount, aligns everything properly, gets a good focus, settles down for a relaxing night's observing...

    That's the precise moment at which your sis will yell from the house "It's starting, pet!"
     
  11. Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    Hot Curry
    Hot Sex
    Hot Hoover

    Not necessarily in that order.
     
  12. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Staff Member

    england playing argentina in the qf of the '98 world cup helped bring on alecetc jr I ;)
     
  13. trustysteed

    trustysteed Guest

  14. trustysteed

    trustysteed Guest

    I also found looking up the, err, blocked orifice, and shouting 'Get out, you lazy little bastard!' worked wonders at the maternity ward until they realized I wasn't even a member of staff let alone a midwife.
     
  15. chris42

    chris42 New Member

    Location:
    Deal, Kent
    Any news yet?